Comments on: What to do When Your Pastor Offends You http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html Connecting God's Truth to Real Life Thu, 09 Feb 2012 03:35:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Katrina http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html/comment-page-1#comment-18563 Katrina Fri, 28 Oct 2011 18:28:12 +0000 http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html#comment-18563 Pastor: I am in much pain as I write this today. My "pastor" has been gossipping about other Christians, including other pastors since I came to her church, which has caused me great pain and cause for concern. At first, I thought these ppl really DID offend her, but she gets offended herself, then goes to prayer meetings and talks about ppl. When she tells other Christians how SHE was offended they come to HER defense and beieve HER gossip, BECAUSE SHE IS A PASTOR!!!!!!!!!! There are people who have cooked for her, babysat, worked, built things FOR FREE and STILL she complains about them, which I feel is backbiting. (I am talking about YEARS of help. I have NEVER seen a pastor receive SO MUCH FOR FREE IN THE NAME OF GOD!). She said that all this is for the ministry and local community, but even the donated stuff goes to HER and HER FAMILY. She told me she wanted to have a baby shower for my daughter. I brought everything and then she told me 24 hrs b4 the shower that she would NOT be making the cake. I told her I would BUY the cake weeks before, but she INSISTED she would do it then called to tell me she wouldnt one day b4 the event. She purposely over-scheduled herself knowing her commitment this Sat, but this is a LIFESTYLE, not a one-time event. She has a body of only 8 beievers (3- husband, daughter, son in law). She is trying to run a clothing store and start 3 or 4 other ministries by herself and will NOT delegate. The gossip has hurt me spiritually. This pastor received her ordination through a local church and has NOT healed many of her own wounds. I went to Seminary and it was there that I learned that pastors are just ppl. Many of them did NOT believe in the counseling profession or that THEY needed any counseling. I understand how much pastors ARE criticized and that is why I believed what she was saying. By writing to you I AM trying to let this go. I fear that by talking to her she will then use it as an excuse to gossip about me as well. Pastor: I am in much pain as I write this today. My "pastor" has been gossipping about other Christians, including other pastors since I came to her church, which has caused me great pain and cause for concern. At first, I thought these ppl really DID offend her, but she gets offended herself, then goes to prayer meetings and talks about ppl. When she tells other Christians how SHE was offended they come to HER defense and beieve HER gossip, BECAUSE SHE IS A PASTOR!!!!!!!!!! There are people who have cooked for her, babysat, worked, built things FOR FREE and STILL she complains about them, which I feel is backbiting. (I am talking about YEARS of help. I have NEVER seen a pastor receive SO MUCH FOR FREE IN THE NAME OF GOD!). She said that all this is for the ministry and local community, but even the donated stuff goes to HER and HER FAMILY.
She told me she wanted to have a baby shower for my daughter. I brought everything and then she told me 24 hrs b4 the shower that she would NOT be making the cake. I told her I would BUY the cake weeks before, but she INSISTED she would do it then called to tell me she wouldnt one day b4 the event. She purposely over-scheduled herself knowing her commitment this Sat, but this is a LIFESTYLE, not a one-time event. She has a body of only 8 beievers (3- husband, daughter, son in law). She is trying to run a clothing store and start 3 or 4 other ministries by herself and will NOT delegate. The gossip has hurt me spiritually. This pastor received her ordination through a local church and has NOT healed many of her own wounds. I went to Seminary and it was there that I learned that pastors are just ppl. Many of them did NOT believe in the counseling profession or that THEY needed any counseling. I understand how much pastors ARE criticized and that is why I believed what she was saying. By writing to you I AM trying to let this go. I fear that by talking to her she will then use it as an excuse to gossip about me as well.

]]> By: SissyGirl http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html/comment-page-1#comment-15950 SissyGirl Mon, 09 May 2011 00:41:28 +0000 http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html#comment-15950 Mark, we are going through some of this. We love our pastor and our church dearly. Thank you for this advice and this is exactly what we are trying to do. It all started over my husband having a great fund raising idea to raise money for missions. This started 2 months ago. He went to the guy over missions, who said he had to get with the pastor, my husband called and called the guy over missions..he finally called him back and told him it was "with the pastor" & he would let him know. Well calls to the pastor went unreturned ( he said he called back once but realized he called the wrong # but did not call again ...).. Mark, we are going through some of this. We love our pastor and our church dearly. Thank you for this advice and this is exactly what we are trying to do. It all started over my husband having a great fund raising idea to raise money for missions. This started 2 months ago. He went to the guy over missions, who said he had to get with the pastor, my husband called and called the guy over missions..he finally called him back and told him it was "with the pastor" & he would let him know. Well calls to the pastor went unreturned ( he said he called back once but realized he called the wrong # but did not call again …)..

]]> By: Dave http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html/comment-page-1#comment-15188 Dave Wed, 02 Mar 2011 16:47:29 +0000 http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html#comment-15188 Isnt reconciliation the key?????If a pastor is losing his core members and people are leaving the church and now you r struggling cause of that,doesnt that say something about the pastor and maybe hos pride in wanting things his way???I went this particular church since Iwas a young boy and now i dont go there, There has been offensive things done by the pastor who wont suck up hispride and reconcile with ALL the many people that have left cause of all the craziness there.We were good friends and the things said and done to my parents who went there for many yrs were not taken care of.Its a struggle in my life.Why cant we ALL show grace to one another??? Isnt reconciliation the key?????If a pastor is losing his core members and people are leaving the church and now you r struggling cause of that,doesnt that say something about the pastor and maybe hos pride in wanting things his way???I went this particular church since Iwas a young boy and now i dont go there, There has been offensive things done by the pastor who wont suck up hispride and reconcile with ALL the many people that have left cause of all the craziness there.We were good friends and the things said and done to my parents who went there for many yrs were not taken care of.Its a struggle in my life.Why cant we ALL show grace to one another???

]]> By: Kenneth Howard http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html/comment-page-1#comment-11405 Kenneth Howard Tue, 29 Jun 2010 11:06:52 +0000 http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html#comment-11405 Hi, Chris--If you are one who thinks he can control Pride,, Attitude in leadership,and Pastors then start your own church. Once you begin on that road, you will be avoided and pushed aside because no pastor will fill at ease around you even if you are right. There will always be that uneasiness between the two. In the days of Ester, no one could speak against the king or come into his presence without being summoned. It was sudden death. If you correct your leader to often you will also have sudden death being excepted in your church. You might even be branded as a trouble maker. The best advise I can give you is to pray over everything and learn to follow instead of leading. Jesus said to his disciples to take up your cross and follow me.(Jesus) Hi, Chris–If you are one who thinks he can control Pride,, Attitude in leadership,and Pastors then start your own church. Once you begin on that road, you will be avoided and pushed aside because no pastor will fill at ease around you even if you are right. There will always be that uneasiness between the two. In the days of Ester, no one could speak against the king or come into his presence without being summoned. It was sudden death. If you correct your leader to often you will also have sudden death being excepted in your church. You might even be branded as a trouble maker. The best advise I can give you is to pray over everything and learn to follow instead of leading. Jesus said to his disciples to take up your cross and follow me.(Jesus)

]]> By: Kenneth Howard http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html/comment-page-1#comment-11404 Kenneth Howard Tue, 29 Jun 2010 10:29:37 +0000 http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html#comment-11404 When a Pastor ask a Senior who has been preaching for years and then tell him he would rather have someone else from the outside to take your place for Sunday. I asked him why? He couldn't tell me but did say, "Well, you didn't say anything wrong, but couldn't give me any reason. I left the Church. I fill he has violated the call of God on my life and he does not know what body Ministry is all about. He is a control freak. He is very young and fill like everybody has to be up to his standard. Doesn't know much about how to love the body of Christ and treat them with respect. The body ministry should not only be the perfect people that he prefers over body members in his church. My Bible tells me the foot can not tell the eye, I have no need of you and so on. I have left his church, obvious it is not the Lord's Church. I have been preaching at several church since then and singing his praises. If a Pastor doesn't respect you in his body then leave for the sake of not being around someone who doesn't love you. Look at the case of Paul and Barnabus. Paul got into a heated argument because he did not want John Mark to tag along on his missionary journeys. Paul was in fault and later called for John Mark because he is profitable for my ministry. Paul wrote the "Love Chapter but did not follow his own letter.Poor Barnabus left and never was heard from ever again. Offense will come but woe unto him who offend or hurts one of my little ones said Jesus. He should have a mild stone around his neck and cast into the sea. I'm just a person who wants to obey the call of God on my life.I guess I am just like Barnabus who just left for other who would love me and respect me. When a Pastor ask a Senior who has been preaching for years and then tell him he would rather have someone else from the outside to take your place for Sunday. I asked him why? He couldn't tell me but did say, "Well, you didn't say anything wrong, but couldn't give me any reason. I left the Church. I fill he has violated the call of God on my life and he does not know what body Ministry is all about. He is a control freak. He is very young and fill like everybody has to be up to his standard. Doesn't know much about how to love the body of Christ and treat them with respect. The body ministry should not only be the perfect people that he prefers over body members in his church. My Bible tells me the foot can not tell the eye, I have no need of you and so on. I have left his church, obvious it is not the Lord's Church. I have been preaching at several church since then and singing his praises. If a Pastor doesn't respect you in his body then leave for the sake of not being around someone who doesn't love you. Look at the case of Paul and Barnabus. Paul got into a heated argument because he did not want John Mark to tag along on his missionary journeys. Paul was in fault and later called for John Mark because he is profitable for my ministry. Paul wrote the "Love Chapter but did not follow his own letter.Poor Barnabus left and never was heard from ever again. Offense will come but woe unto him who offend or hurts one of my little ones said Jesus. He should have a mild stone around his neck and cast into the sea. I'm just a person who wants to obey the call of God on my life.I guess I am just like Barnabus who just left for other who would love me and respect me.

]]> By: Mark Altrogge http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html/comment-page-1#comment-1649 Mark Altrogge Sun, 11 May 2008 01:33:29 +0000 http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html#comment-1649 My son David wears a Michael Bolton tee shirt. My son David wears a Michael Bolton tee shirt.

]]> By: fluff http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html/comment-page-1#comment-1645 fluff Sat, 10 May 2008 19:07:04 +0000 http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html#comment-1645 couldn't get past the "michael bolton" comment...still laughing at it. couldn’t get past the “michael bolton” comment…still laughing at it.

]]> By: Mark Altrogge http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html/comment-page-1#comment-1572 Mark Altrogge Tue, 06 May 2008 14:01:34 +0000 http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html#comment-1572 Chris, Thanks again for your humble comments. The Lord gives grace to the humble, and I trust he'll continue to help you grow in mercy. I'm the president of the sinners club - over the years I've been proud, unmerciful, and impatient with God's precious sheep, and God in his kindness has been so patient and merciful towards me. I know he will help us both. Jim, Great heart-test. I believe we should do all we can to not leave a church offended, should God call us to another church, but we should do all we can to leave reconciled and at peace. Thanks for your comments! Chris,

Thanks again for your humble comments. The Lord gives grace to the humble, and I trust he’ll continue to help you grow in mercy. I’m the president of the sinners club – over the years I’ve been proud, unmerciful, and impatient with God’s precious sheep, and God in his kindness has been so patient and merciful towards me.

I know he will help us both.

Jim,

Great heart-test. I believe we should do all we can to not leave a church offended, should God call us to another church, but we should do all we can to leave reconciled and at peace.

Thanks for your comments!

]]> By: Jim Swindle http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html/comment-page-1#comment-1562 Jim Swindle Tue, 06 May 2008 11:42:03 +0000 http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html#comment-1562 These are good words. I'd pass on to Chris something that I once heard Jack Hayford say, back in the days when I thought Hayford was the next best thing: The pastor should always send the obedient Christians out with joy. Now, that's not an iron-clad rule. I've seen Hayford break it. :-) However, I think it still holds as a general rule. Meanwhile, I've slowly learned to deeply appreciate excellent pastors without putting them on quite so high a pedestal. One final thought: After you have spoken to the pastor and thought and prayed and waited, eager for reconciliation, if the issue is keeping you from fully serving the Lord and the pastor shows no desire for bridging the gap, there can come a time to leave for another church, if one's available. A quick heart-test is whether you can still love that pastor who offended you. If not, you should probably stay until the Lord has corrected that fault in your own heart. These are good words. I’d pass on to Chris something that I once heard Jack Hayford say, back in the days when I thought Hayford was the next best thing: The pastor should always send the obedient Christians out with joy.

Now, that’s not an iron-clad rule. I’ve seen Hayford break it. :-) However, I think it still holds as a general rule.

Meanwhile, I’ve slowly learned to deeply appreciate excellent pastors without putting them on quite so high a pedestal.

One final thought: After you have spoken to the pastor and thought and prayed and waited, eager for reconciliation, if the issue is keeping you from fully serving the Lord and the pastor shows no desire for bridging the gap, there can come a time to leave for another church, if one’s available. A quick heart-test is whether you can still love that pastor who offended you. If not, you should probably stay until the Lord has corrected that fault in your own heart.

]]> By: chris http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html/comment-page-1#comment-1552 chris Mon, 05 May 2008 13:57:31 +0000 http://www.theblazingcenter.com/2008/05/what-to-do-when-your-pastor-offends-you.html#comment-1552 Thank you, Mark. This is very helpful. I fond that one of my (many) glaring deficiencies is being genuinely compassionate toward our church when the text I am preaching from addresses specific sins. I always call the church to repent and plead for the mercy of God, but I don't think I do a very good job of displaying mercy personally. The result has been a church that is afraid to confront their pastor because they are afraid he will not show mercy. This really breaks my heart that I have done this to them. So, thank you again for your encouragement. I hope and pray that God will give me more mercy... Chris Thank you, Mark. This is very helpful. I fond that one of my (many) glaring deficiencies is being genuinely compassionate toward our church when the text I am preaching from addresses specific sins. I always call the church to repent and plead for the mercy of God, but I don’t think I do a very good job of displaying mercy personally.

The result has been a church that is afraid to confront their pastor because they are afraid he will not show mercy.

This really breaks my heart that I have done this to them.

So, thank you again for your encouragement. I hope and pray that God will give me more mercy…

Chris

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