In light of last week’s poignant discussion on the relationship between pre-ripped jeans and manpoints and previous heated debates on the exact nature of manpoints, I’ve decided to serve the general male populace by creating a manpoints survey.
This survey is intended to help men determine their manliness quotient and identify areas where growth is needed. Ladies, you may want to pass this along to the men in your life.
Grading Rubrick: A = 0 Points, B = 5 Points, C = 10 Points
Answer the following questions:
How long does it take you to get ready every morning?
A. More than thirty minutes
B. 15-30 minutes
C. You sleep in your clothes
Your last pair of jeans cost:
A. $70+ (Designed by someone named Emil)
B. $30-$70
C. $10 or less (Clearance rack in Wal-Mart)
You moisturize your hands and lips with:
A. Cocoa butter lotion and strawberry chapstick
B. Unscented lotion and flavorless chapstick
C. Bacon fat
Your Bible is:
A. Encased in a multi-colored cloth cover and you carry it like a purse
B. Encased in a plain Bible holder, perhaps with an eagle on the front
C. Encased in cowhide.
Your idea of sports includes:
A. A rousing speed walk around the local mall
B. Ultimate Frisbee
C. Tackle Football…without pads…on pavement.
The last movie you watched by yourself was:
A. Anne of Green Gables
B. Wall-E
C. Ultimate Bowhunting With Ted Nugent
If a movie was made about you, the following person would play your role:
A. Richard Simmons
B. Nicholas Cage
C. Chuck Norris or John Wayne (or Chuck Norris starring as John Wayne)
You drink your coffee:
A. Loaded with Hazelnut Irish Cream and lightly dusted with Splenda
B. With a touch of cream and sugar
C. Black…and chewy
So how did you do? If you scored 0 – 30 you’ve got some serious toughening up to do. If you scored 30 – 60 you’re in pretty good shape. If you scored 60 – 80 you spit bullets.
What other questions would you add to the survey?
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
This is pretty hilarious. Party hilarious because of the men I know and the various categories they fit in. And party because I, as a rather feminine woman, scored an even 50. =)
This is great. It reminds me of the man-law commercials. One question might be;
When wiping your mouth do you use:
A. Linen napkin
B. Paper towel
C. Shirt sleeve, collar, basically anything within reach.
that photo really doesn’t belong with this post…
Those are hands that have never seen a drop of moisturizer.
This is Brilliant, thank you for seving us with such a helpful survey
i wrote a response to this explaining why i’m grateful for it but why it’s flawed.
http://garyboalnireland.blogspot.com/2009/03/manpoints-survey-response-to-stephen.html
Unfortunately I must disagree with Gary. There are some guys (particularly those who wear unnaturally tight jeans and t-shirts) who need to do some serious self-confrontation when it comes to their manliness.
This survey is intended to help them…
Okay, i can see your argument for it Stephen, it may be useful to some by prodding them to become more of a man!
i know a guy who used to carry a pink and orange polka dot journal. we helped him and covered it with duct tape. it is now labeled the “manly journal”… but you can still see specks of pink if you look closely. aaaahhhh!
#1 I think you should add “dented metal and duct tape” to the “cowhide” answer for what your bible is covered with.
Sugg Q: What percentage of your clothing was free?
(<25, 50)
Sugg Q: Playing sports have you ever: a) got a hang nail and quit b) suffered a minor injury and played in pain c) broke a bone and manipulated it in order to keep playing
Sugg Q: What’s the most exotic thing you have eaten?
A) McDonald’s Salad B) Escargot / Calamari C) Freshly caught insects (preferable from another country)
Sugg Q: How many times a day do you Twitter? A) >5
B) 0 C) 0
hm. i’m a gal, and i scored 45.
and i’m quite feminine.
I took it and got 30.
I know this is just for humor (and it IS pretty funny), but I’m sure most women would agree with me that an all Cs bullet-spitting guy is rather unattractive.
Hmmm… it seems that some of the symbols I used for “short cuts” in my post didn’t show up and neither did some of the numbers with them. Oh well, if they were actually good suggestions they would have come through clearly.
Hmmm #2…I wonder if I can edit my last comment?
I realize that if ladies take this survey it probably won’t score correctly! It’s more intended to help those guys who need a little prodding!
Took this survey and scored a 25. I find it comical that there are more ladies posting their scores than there are guys posting scores! And Megan Liz, I too agree that a bullet-spitting all-C’s kind of guy is, needs, well…..we’ll leave it at that. *Smiling.* Thanks for the laughs Stephen!
TGG