One of our best weapons against self-pity is to compare what we deserve with the free grace God lavishes on us in Christ. For those who have suffered tragic losses of loved ones and other heavy afflictions, I’d never try to comfort them by saying, “It could be worse.” But often I find I need to grab my thoughts by the collar, give myself a good shaking and say, “Hey, Mark, quit feeling sorry for yourself. Now listen up…”
I deserve worse
I should be screaming in agony in hell right now for my rebellion against God; instead, I’ve merely been criticized by someone. I should be burning in torment, but I only have to replace my car engine.
It could always be worse
I could be going through this same trial, only in a poverty-wracked country. I could have cancer instead of the flu. I could be a paraplegic but all I have is a sprained ankle.
Many have it far worse
My grocery budget may be tight, but there are multitudes who go to bed hungry every night. I have to wait for my prescription to be filled, but in parts of Uganda where people have no access to band-aids or antibiotics, a mere scratch can lead to a limb amputation or death. My back hurts, but in North Korea soldiers jam Christians into shipping crates where for months they can never stand or stretch out.
Jesus had it infinitely worse
My Savior bore the furious wrath of God with no relief, no mercy, no help, no friends and no sense of his Father’s love. Whatever pain I experience completely pales compared to Jesus’ agony. And he endured it all so I could escape God’s richly deserved wrath and come to the Father.
This life is the worst it will ever get
I may suffer fiery trials in this life, but this is the worst it will ever be for me. In the next life Jesus will wipe away every tear from my eyes and ache in my joints. But for those who reject Christ, this life is the best they’ll ever know and the next life will be eternal, unremitting misery and despair.
I could be going through this trial apart from Christ
Millions of unbelievers suffer tragedies, disease, and evil at the hands of others apart from the love of Jesus. They have no comfort from his Spirit, no hope for eternity, no God to help them. They suffer here then slide into eternal destruction. Though I may be hurting, my Good Shepherd will never forsake me.
These truths bring perspective to my peewee trials and help me apply the gospel to them.
So how do you encourage yourself when tempted to self-pity?
photo by Cyberliquid
Very Timely reminder. Thank you so much!
I read Scripture. Specifically the Psalms or a specific Scriptures that point my heart to Christ and my hope in Him.
I also like to look back and God’s past faithfulness in my life. Reminding myself of where He has been at work is very helpful in the midst of trial.
thanks mark.
i woke up this morning with an awful migraine. but i’ve got a meetings at work that i can’t miss so i didn’t have the option to just stay in bed. all morning i’ve been tempted to complain… why me? why today? why won’t it just go away?
and then i read this… wow! thanks. thanks for reminding me of God. thanks for reminding me that (though i might think so at this very moment) this migraine won’t kill me!
one thing that helps me when i’m struggling with self pity (which is rather often, i must confess) is to listen to music. often when i am struggling with self pity its typically due to physical issues… and as a result reading isn’t the most helpful choice. but God has used songs to turn my gaze back to Him. today my music of choice is the Psalms CD by Sovereign Grace. The songs “praise the Lord” and “God is our Refuge” have been especially helpful today… just to continue to remind myself that the Lord has blessed me so far beyond what I realize and that He will continue to be a refuge through every storm I face.
thanks!
preach the gospel to myself daily
Hey Mark,
Great post today! When I struggle with self pity I know that I need to read my Bible or as Emily said above listen to music. Writing songs in the midst of trials has been helpful too in battling self pity.
Reading The Blazing Center doesn’t hurt either! seriously, it really assists in preaching the gospel to myself everyday and knowing that I do deserve Hell, and I am doing much better than I deserve!
Thanks for such a timely subject, trials will never end here on this side of eternity, but we have a perfect Father who won’t let us experience anything until it passes through His hands.
Blessings
Ron Reffett
I have magnet on my fridge that proclaims, “SNAP OUT OF IT!” It always pulls me up short.
Seriously when I begin to wallow in self-pity, the Lord reminds me of two questions a very wise older woman once shared with me as a way to check my thinking. Ask yourself these question,: What does Scripture say? What is the truth of this situation? Sadly, I am usually at least knee deep in self pity before I remember to ask the questions! Running everything through the sieve of Scripture is essential. The Spirit is always faithful to remind me to run to ask the questions and He always lifts my head and fixes my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of my faith.
Music that focuses on the Gospel is also great for snapping me out of the muck and mire of self-pity because again, it points me back to Truth. So I will Trust You and Heavenly Father, Beautiful Son are just two great ones the Lord uses to adjust my thinking.
oh, another thing i like to do is to “rewrite” the Psalms in my own words… especially the ones like Psalm 25, 27 62, 73, 103…
I go back and read Job, particularly the part where God starts talking to Job. For some reason, the “who are you to question GOD” vibe of Job (and some other selected scriptures) reminds me of the all important fact that I am NOT the center of the universe. I like the fact that in Job (and in a similar passage in Jeremiah), when questioned, God doesn’t ever explain himself. He just reminds us that HE is God and we are not. It always puts my whining in perspective.
Hi Yeller,
Psalms are great! I like Ps 42 and 43: Why are you downcast, O my soul? Hope in God, for I again praise him. And yes, God’s past faithfulness guarantees his future faithfulness. Thanks!
Hi Emily,
I can’t imagine what it’s like to struggle with migraines…I know several others who have regular migraines and just like you, often must press through them. And others who have migraines have also mentioned listening to music like you did. I respect you for your perseverance and your battle to not give in to self-pity. And what a great idea – rewriting Psalms in your own words. That is a wonderful way to meditate on God’s word and really internalize it. Thanks for your comments!
Hey Jason,
Can’t do any better than that! How can we give into self-pity when contemplating all God’s done for us in Christ.
Hey Ron,
You’re right – our Father knows exactly how much we can bear and measures out just the right amount, and not an ounce more. Thanks!
DrLiz,
Great point, and great practice – reading passages that remind us that we are not the center of the universe – God is! Thanks for adding this!