We love to mock each other in our church.
Of course, men should never ever make fun of women, and especially their wives. But it’s nothing for my friends or kids to mock me for my ever-expanding bald spot, or my preaching goofs, or my inability to use a DVD remote.
Every week the pastoral staff reviews the past Sunday meeting, from the worship to the announcements, to the message. Pity the one who stumbles over a phrase when greeting newcomers or taking the offering. Once one of our pastors was welcoming the guests, and in mid-word, decided instead to welcome the visitors. It came out as, “We’d like to welcome all our gisitors this morning.” That one is still mocking fodder.
The other night some friends and I were laughing about some of my classic preaching blunders, like the time I preached on the rich man and Lazarus. In the middle of the message I had a brilliant flash that in life, the rich man wouldn’t have touched Lazarus, but in hell the rich man wanted Lazarus dip his finger in water and touch his tongue. So with exuberance and high drama I shouted, “So the rich man cried out, ‘Father Abraham! Please send Lazarus to come and stick his tongue in my mouth!’” At which point a collective shudder passed through the congregation. Teens grimaced at each other and said, “Ewwww!” And I never even knew I said it, but went right on, convinced I was the next Charles Spurgeon.
Why do we have this culture of mocking?
Because we don’t take ourselves seriously. We take Jesus seriously. We take his Word seriously. But not ourselves. Laughing at our foibles and failures is a way to remind ourselves that God didn’t choose many noble or wise, but chose the weak and foolish things of this world – namely, us. It’s a way to remind ourselves that God alone is great and we are not.
Humor is a gift from God to keep us humble.
It reminds us we’re not professionals, but flawed human beings. It underscores that anything good that happens is all of God and his grace, not our skill. Recalling my preaching blunders emphasizes that it is Jesus who changes lives and builds his church, not my stellar preaching.
For us, mocking is an expression of affection.
I only mock the ones I love. I never use sarcasm to bring correction. Jesus nicknamed James and John “Sons of Thunder,” probably because they suggested calling down fire on a Samaritan village that wouldn’t receive them. I imagine Jesus smiled every time he needled the Thunder Boys.
So if you’re ever a gisitor to our church, don’t be offended if you hear some light-hearted ripping on each other.
photo by iainaitch
I love that about our church, too (the Fairfax one). Our most recent and funny blooper was one paster telling visitors that they could “insert” their children in children’s ministry. Everyone laughed and he barely recovered enough to finish the announcements.
Hey Megan,
I’m laughing right now! I think we’ll start inserting our children into children’s ministry too!
Hey Mark, I just found your blog through Church Relevance’s list of top blogs. I’m with you on mocking others. I consider myself to have a ministry of mocking! Christians who take themselves too seriously are to be pitied.
I have never lived down the moment in which I was calling for the church to pray for our Student Pastor’s newly born niece one Sunday morning. She was born with a genetic disease, and instead I claimed, “Please pray for her genital disease.” Mortifying!
Amen Matt!
Mock away!
Hey Dawson,
Good one! I’ll have to use it sometime.
Well……I guess I am one that Matt over at the church of no people might pity? I am definitely seeking to grow in this area, but lets just say that I am ‘not’ gifted (like Matt) in this area. Humor and sarcasm has been a strugle for me. I strive to be earnest and terribly soberminded in my walk (admitedly probably abit on the other extreme from you funny guys) using pastors like Paul Washer and John Piper as models for sobriety and the seriousness of our call to be a peculiar people. Struggling with how rampant that sarcasm and slander and mocking litters society that we are in, I only try to, by God’s grace, to be different; yet all the while not alien. And the when I looked up the etymology of ’sarcasm’ it didnt help a whole lot. Maybe you guys might benefit a little from deeply considering the history of the word, since after all Stephens blog post from only days ago was trying to recover the meaning and effect of words. Plus, last years DG conference was on “The Power of Words”. I confess I do need to grow in this area, but I only want to be erroring on the side of caution rather than a loose liberality with my tongue being well aware of the temptation to the scintilating pleasure of degrading others. I will do well to listen to CJ’s sermon, “Dont Waste Your Humor”, maybe you guys might want to link that sermon to some who are not aware of it? Here is the ’sarcasm’ definition I found: cutting expression or remark, sarcastic language. XVI (in L. form), XVII. — F. sarcasme or late L. sarcasmos — late Gr. sarkasmós, f. sarkázein tear flesh, gnash the teeth, speak bitterly, f. sárx, sark- flesh.
So sarcastic XVII. — F. sarcastique.
Eph 4:29, Col 4:6, Thanks for serving us guys! OLE
Hi Ole,
Thanks for your thoughtful comments. I totally agree that we should never use sarcasm in any way to degrade, embarrass, or hurt anyone.
I would also say that I am not above failing or sinning in this area, or that I would never need to be adjusted.
When I tease someone, it is never with the intent of bringing correction or embarrassing or belittling. Perhaps sarcasm isn’t the best word for what I had in mind. I truly meant joking with someone who would know that there was not the slightest shred of truth in any comment I make. And for me it truly is a way of expressing affection. I think if anyone asked the people I tease they would say they feel my love for them even in my joking with them.
However, you could be right, Ole – I certainly am a sinner in need of brothers like you to exhort me, warn me and question me. And I do appreciate you adding your thoughts to the discussion!
Thank you for this post. What a great reminder to make much of Christ…and to laugh at our imperfect, fallible selves.
Thanks Rod…and (at least in my case) there’s lots of imperfection to laugh at….
Hey guys,
This topic has brought up much discussion between my wife and I, and it has been rich. I want to encourage whoever has time and whoever wants to grow in this area (and even those of us who may have never heard a sermon on this topic) to listen to CJ’s sermon “Dont Waste Your Humor”. It was outstanding! My wife and I laughed alot of course and we even cried during the opening, it would be a good investment of 50 minutes of one’s time. (Even the last 10 minutes are outstanding if that is all one has, very good.)
Dont loose hope in me guys, I am indeed seeking to grow in the area of laughing at my many quirkes and those around me. God did indeed have this predetermined for me, I am confident, When my wife and I met at Bible College, she was (and is still) known and heard all around campus for her most exuberant and contagious joy and laugh! Indeed quite an indescribable gift my wife is to me and her laughter spilling over into our family.
Prov 17:22 – OLE
Enjoy the CJ sermon guys to those who make time.
Thanks Ole! I’m sure you can’t beat CJ on the subject – he’s one of the funniest guys I know.
Mark, you wrote, “I totally agree that we should never use sarcasm in any way to degrade, embarrass, or hurt anyone.” You added, “When I tease someone, it is never with the intent of bringing correction or embarrassing or belittling.”
I’m not sure that such confrontative humor is always wrong. Couldn’t it be redemptive, in some circumstances, to say something that causes someone to see their behavior as indeed laughably wrong? On one hand, it’s true that sin is not laughable. On the other hand, the foolishness of sin is most laughable.
Consider God’s laughter toward those who conspire together against Him and His people (see Psalm 2:4, Psalm 37:13, Psalm 59:8). Some scholars have suggested that his laugh was redemptive — He was giving them a chance to humble themselves and repent, acknowledging that what they’ve been doing is laughable.
Elijah mocked the prophets of Ball in 1 Kings 18:27. “Cry aloud,” Elijah said, “for he is a god. Either he is musing, or he is relieving himself, or he is on a journey, or perhaps he is asleep and must be awakened.” How was what Elijah said right? If we can answer that question, perhaps we can discern how to engage in similarly demeaning speech in a way that honors the Lord.
Hm. I guess what you’re saying is that you want your heart to be pure when engaging in humorous speech with someone. The words themselves could come across as harsh (see Jesus’ interaction with the Canaanite woman in Matthew 15, for example), but your intentions are for the person’s good.
This is a fascinating topic. Someone should write a master’s thesis on it….
Hey Ted,
You make some great points. Obviously, if God speaks sarcastically or mocks, it would be totally pure and without sin. And Elijah as well, as a prophet of God, would probably have been doing it in a pure way that would glorify God. That’s the challenge for me. Sometimes rather than be forthright and direct with someone, I can be tempted to come at them “sideways” through sarcasm.
I agree that in some circumstances, and depending on your relationship with a person, humor or sarcasm can be redemptive. I think a lot depends on our motives – if we are doing it for the glory of Christ and to serve the person it is good.
I think that’s what Jesus was doing when he called James and John “Sons of Thunder” – he was gently and affectionately reminding them of their weakness.
Obviously, you’ve put some thought into it…guess I’ll have to read your thesis…thanks for your comments!
Mark — I agree with you: I suppose it is *possible* to ridicule someone in a way that pleases the Lord, to bring correction through humorous means, but it’d be very challenging. Hm. I need to think about this some more….
Tell Stephen hi for me!
I’ll do that Ted, and I’ll ridicule him on your behalf.
What is a gisitor? And how can I become one at your church?
Great article. And you’re the best at this.
Not only can you become a gisitor, you can become our worship leader, and for that matter, senior pastor. Thanks Bob!
I have a question about “sarcasm”. I really appreciate this post and Ole’s comments. I think the danger in the sarcasm is that sometimes all fellowship becomes is that sarcasm or clever witticisms. I think we need to be intentional on our fellowship to make sure we are creating relationships on more than the witticisms. For some people the fellowship they get Sunday Morning after church is the only fellowship they get. While I am sure you and your staff have a very good relationships, it is something we have to be careful of with others who we may only talk to for five or ten minutes a week.
Hey Todd,
I totally agree. Our fellowship is and needs to be much more than humor, though that’s a part of it. And it’s not always sarcasm, a lot of it is humor and fun. But our fellowship must be much more than humor, and by God’s grace it is, not only in our staff here but in the church. And much more important than humor is that we speak the truth in love, encourage, admonish, comfort, help and let the Word of Christ dwell in us as we sing, teach, and exhort one another. Thanks for your comments!
Couple of questions. . .
How does ridiculing each other balance with the direction to edify the saints?
And how do you show love while making fun?
Intriguing article for sure!
Hi Micah,
Great questions. When we ridicule each other, we don’t mean it, and it is actually an expression of affection and friendship. I would never ridicule someone seriously, for that would be unedifying. But genuine laughter in a spirit of affection is edifying – a cheerful heart has a continual feast (PR 5.15), a joyful heart is good medicine (PR 17.22). Of course, our showing love through poking fun is only a part of the full spectrum of our showing love through care, compassion, praying for one another, encouraging, etc. I hope this at least partially answers your questions. Thanks!