The Brett Favre – John Piper Conspiracy

Written by Stephen Altrogge

Topics: Humor

I’ve stumbled upon a conspiracy of epic proportions. Let me fill you in.

FACT: On February 11, 2009, Brett Favre announces his retirement from football season, saying that he is concerned about health risks and other various factors.

FACT: On April 30, 2009, John Piper releases a book entitled Rethinking Retirement.

FACT: John Piper lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

FACT: In May, 2009 Brett Favre begins to “rethink” his retirement. Maybe he doesn’t want to quit football. Or maybe he’s worried about wasting his life. He meets with Minnesota Vikings head coach Brad Childress to discuss playing for the Vikings.

FACT: The Vikings play in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

FACT: On August 19, 2009, Favre signs with Vikings, saying that he’s willing to take a “chance” with the Vikings.

All these facts lead to one obvious conclusion: John Piper convinced Brett Favre to play for the Vikings.

Rumor has it that other prominent evangelicals were also trying to win Favre to their team. Apparently Mark Driscoll had a book in the works entitled Death By Retirement, but Piper, who is capable of writing three books per week, got to Favre first.

Need further proof? Look at this picture of John Piper about to catch a pass thrown by Favre.

piper_hands

What implications does this have for next year? We’ll just have to see.

Remember, you heard it hear first…

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23 Comments Comments For This Post I'd Love to Hear Yours!

  1. Barnabas says:

    I’m most impressed by Piper’s use of the hands to catch the pass. Much better than letting the ball get to your body.

  2. Aaron says:

    I knew he was up to something.

  3. SD Smith says:

    Fact: This is funny.

    Fact: The Three Stooges are funny.

    Therefore: You are one of the Three Stooges.

  4. Excellent analysis. Hilarious! I saw the picture and knew right where you were headed. Loved it.

  5. Hilarious, but only because it’s true.

  6. My grave concern is did Favre come of his own free will at the open invitation of Piper or did he receive an irresistable call and had no choice? Deep theological implications.

  7. I love it!I think you definitely uncovered something.

  8. Rebekah says:

    It would be interesting to to study other Football icons to see whether “prominent evangelicals,” as you call them, may have had influence over their team choices. Could this phenomenon be limited simply to one occurrence? I think not. It may not even be limited within bounds of football… the possibilities are scary when one ponders them.

  9. I now, very much so, dislike John Piper! God will never leave you for the Vikings. :)

  10. Kevin says:

    John got Favre a two year deal — so there is still another year before other prominent evangelicals can lure the old man away. Is there any way to see if Favre is tithing to Bethlehem Baptist? That would be the smoking gun!

  11. Jessica says:

    This totally made me lol. I appreciate you, and I just found this site.

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