I’ve stumbled upon a conspiracy of epic proportions. Let me fill you in.
FACT: On February 11, 2009, Brett Favre announces his retirement from football season, saying that he is concerned about health risks and other various factors.
FACT: On April 30, 2009, John Piper releases a book entitled Rethinking Retirement.
FACT: John Piper lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
FACT: In May, 2009 Brett Favre begins to “rethink” his retirement. Maybe he doesn’t want to quit football. Or maybe he’s worried about wasting his life. He meets with Minnesota Vikings head coach Brad Childress to discuss playing for the Vikings.
FACT: The Vikings play in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
FACT: On August 19, 2009, Favre signs with Vikings, saying that he’s willing to take a “chance” with the Vikings.
All these facts lead to one obvious conclusion: John Piper convinced Brett Favre to play for the Vikings.
Rumor has it that other prominent evangelicals were also trying to win Favre to their team. Apparently Mark Driscoll had a book in the works entitled Death By Retirement, but Piper, who is capable of writing three books per week, got to Favre first.
Need further proof? Look at this picture of John Piper about to catch a pass thrown by Favre.
What implications does this have for next year? We’ll just have to see.
Remember, you heard it hear first…
Written by Stephen Altrogge
Topics: Humor