In the age of megachurch pastors, there’s only one thing missing: pastoral trading cards. Which is why it gives me great pleasure to introduce the first ever pastoral trading card set. In addition to having cards of their favorite athletes, kids can now have cards of their favorite pastor. I’ve included some samples to whet your appetite.
The John Piper Rookie “Necklace” Card
This card is the rarest and most valuable of all the pastoral trading cards. This card shows Dr. Piper just before he became a pastor, and is the only known photograph of Dr. Piper wearing a piece of jewelry other than a wedding ring.
The Mark Driscoll “Punchout” Card
Everyone knows that Mark Driscoll is a big fan of UFC, and the Mark Driscoll “Punchout” card shows Mark demonstrating his favorite UFC move, “The Holy Hammer”, on Dr. Piper. Experts are valuing this card at approximately 12 strips of bacon, which Mark Driscoll also loves.
The Mahaney/McArthur “Together for the Basket” Card
This card has collectors drooling. It clearly depicts C.J. Mahaney and John McArthur playing basketball together. C.J. often talks about sports from the pulpit, but this is the only known photograph of him actually doing it, and some experts have actually wondered whether he might have been photoshopped in by his wily assistant, Tony “Tractor Trailer” Reinke.
The Mark Dever “Karate” Card
This action packed card portrays Dr. Dever just before he karate chopped the ESV Study Bible (a stunt no one had successfully done up to that point).
Look for this gorgeous set of cards to be in the stores soon.
What cards would add to the set?
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
What about the Tim Keller / Captain Jean Luc Picard lookalike card?
Or the Jonathan Rourke impersonates CJ Mahaney at T4G card?
I like the Tim Keller idea. CJ could also be included in that lookalike.
Keller and Mahaney could be twins. They are almost identical.
The Matt Chandler Jump-Shot Card http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1620_shepherds_an...
Or Pastor Tullian catching a pass http://www.christianpost.com/article/20090119/cor...
Why is that these guys always look like they're playing sports?
Stephen,
Back in the 90s, I worked on an advertising campaign for a line of trading cards featuring people from the Bible.
I wish I were kidding.
Dave
Wow, do you have any left over?
Stephen, your depiction of these pastoral trading cards is hilarious. Aside from supplying us with thought provoking questions, you also manage to stir a belly laugh. And in me, that is not easy.
Alan
note mega church pastors.
Here is a rapabout JMac that The Master's College student Ryan Francis made, and it show John MacArthur playing basketball. Viral among young Johnny Mac followers.
wow, a CB Eder card would be cool. Think of all the great poses you could find him in…
I'm still mad at my mom for throwing out my shoebox full of Martin Lloyd Jones and Spurgeon rookies. I remember putting a NM (needs no explanation to the ones who are laughing) John Owen in the spokes of my Schwinn Apple Crate. Now my collection is down to this weird little Honus Wagner card. I wonder if it's worth anything.
I want to see John MacArthur doing a jump shot. I know he is a great Bible teacher and author, but never knew him as a basketball player.
Wait, I have 12 strips of bacon somewhere… I must have that card! Thanks, I needed a good laugh!
I'll trade a Joel Osteen card for any amount of pork or bacon (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aU5kek3D-4I)
Brad Tower Rookie Card?
hilarious
mac arthur in this picture looks like an old man who maybe used to be a beast on the court but is now just ruining the game for everyone by insisting he can still ball. it'd be like phil jackson insisting he can still dominate the lane. "kobe, i can take Lamar." "no, Phil. sit down."
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