Christianity Tomorrow – John Piper Runs Out of People To Dedicate Books To

Sometimes when I get bored I like to think about what the Christian headlines of the future will be. What will magazines like Christianity Today be saying in 25 years? Maybe something like this…

John Piper Runs Out of People to Dedicate Books To

MINNEAPOLIS: Sources within Desiring God Ministries have confirmed that John Piper has actually run out of people to dedicate books to.

In the last twenty years, Dr. Piper has dedicated books to his wife, children, grandchildren, all the current, past, and present employees of Desiring God Ministries, all the living relatives of Jonathan Edwards, those people who were collecting seashells in that Reader’s Digest article, and numerous others. Now it appears that Dr. Piper may have actually run out of people to dedicate books to.

After writing his most recent book over a lunch hour, Dr. Piper started working on the dedication, only to realize that he couldn’t think of another person to dedicate a book to. He took a short mental break by memorizing the book of Philippians, then came back to the book problem, only to be stumped again.

“This is a real conundrum,” said Dr. Piper. “You simply can’t savor this book in the white-hot manner required if there is no dedication at the front.”

Dr. Piper’s assistant, David Mathis said, “We are currently taking suggestions for possible dedication ideas. Right now John is considering dedicating the book to Calvinism or hyphenated words, although neither is set in stone.”

While this article was being written, Dr. Piper wrote four other books.

Note: John Piper is seriously one of my heroes. Dr. Piper, if you happen to read this, I hope that someday I can be half as godly as you and write one-tenth as many books.

  • Kat

    i…really hope he read this :) lol

  • Aaron Armstrong

    This made my day, especially since future John Piper will be even more prolific :)

  • Anam Cara

    I work in a Christian bookstore and although Piper might be prolific, the person whose pencil I would like to break is Karen Kingsbury. We are overwhelmed with her books! I'd bet we have more of her titles on the shelves than any other author. Today at work I will do a quick count…..

  • Brian

    Best laugh in days!!

  • John T. Jeffery

    You have too much time on your hands! LOL

  • seekingpastor

    If John Piper reads this he would probably not be offended since it was predestined to happen.

  • Briana

    that was really, really funny.
    He's one man who's greatly influenced me, too…

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  • Diane Bartosch

    oh my gosh! That was hysterical!!! You are so funny!!

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  • offsetinnocence

    Haha I love this. John Piper is seriously a consideration for the name of my first son!