The Headlines of the Future – Mark Driscoll Plants Church On the Moon

Sometimes when I get bored I like to think about what the Christian headlines of the future will be. What will magazines like Christianity Today be saying in 25 years? Maybe something like this…

Mark Driscoll Initiates Space Church Planting Program

SEATTLE: In a surprise move, Mark Driscoll has announced that Acts 29 Ministries will definitely be planting a church on the moon in the next five years. This announcement comes just one week after Acts 29 announced that they have officially planted a church in every city in the world, including the city of Chernobyl, which is still uninhabited after the nuclear meltdown that happened fifty years ago.

When asked to comment he said, “Yes we know that life has not technically been discovered on the moon, but we still feel the need to plant this church. For all we know, there could be unreached peoples on the dark side of the moon. Heck, life has not technically been discovered in Texas yet either!”

When asked about the difficulties in traveling to and from the moon he said, “You know, we’re currently doing 240 services on Sunday mornings using a combination of holograph and teleport technology. I don’t see why we can’t do something like that on the moon.”

According to sources within Acts 29, plans are also in motion to plant churches on Mars, Venus, and possibly Pluto, depending on if it gets reinstated as an official planet.

Note: I love Mark Driscoll and the guys at Acts 29. I want to be like them when I grow up. If you’ve never heard Driscoll preach, you can do so here.

  • Tosha

    Love this!

    • http://twitter.com/stephenaltrogge @stephenaltrogge

      I'm glad you like it!

  • Leslie

    I would so love to plant a church on the moon, but will probably be too old by that time. Unless anti-aging technology advances fast enough. Maybe I could be the oldest person that ever went.

    • http://twitter.com/stephenaltrogge @stephenaltrogge

      Yeah, I would like to go to. Who knows? It could happen!

  • http://www.ericnovak.com Eric Novak

    Haha- I'm sure Mark will be preaching on the problems with extraterrestrial relationships and being unevenly yoked by then ;)

  • http://solarcrash.com lon

    mark's got no lack of ambition which is what makes this hilarious…

  • Jared meyering

    You’ve hit the big time. Expect a flood of traffic.

  • http://twitter.com/jOSHgROVES @jOSHgROVES

    Anyone that loves Driscoll will appreciate this post, haha! Good stuff.

  • http://garyboalnireland.blogspot.com Boaly

    Brilliant!

  • Jessica Bolof

    Haha that's too funny!

  • http://twitter.com/mandiemariebee @mandiemariebee

    Fabulous and well written. This needs to be a series!

  • john jinata

    and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.
    Ephisian 5:4

    It might be funny, but the world is wathing and listening to us. He should guard what he say and be above reproach.

    .Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach.
    Timothy3:2

    I love his teaching and when I say this, I was concern. After all he is still a man born a sinner. Yes we are saved by grace alone. We(true believer) still have struggle with sin and have to fight it daily, but let us also guard one another. Love you guys in Christ.

    • chad johnston

      huh?

  • Esther

    Even so, Lord Jesus, come quickly!

  • http://www.benjermcveigh.com Benjer McVeigh

    Hilarious!

  • http://dustn.me Dustin W. Stout

    This is great! I think you’ve captured Mark Driscoll’s personality perfectly!

  • Dylan Dodson

    This is awesome!

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