The Forgotten Quotes Of Charles Spurgeon

Like many preachers, I like to quote Charles Spurgeon. Recently I came into possession of the only existing copy of an extremely rare book: The Forgotten Quotes of Charles Spurgeon.  These quotes give us an unusual and inspirational glimpse into the mind of the Prince of Preachers. Here is a sampling:

Sometimes when I am preaching I have 12 separate thoughts in my head at once. Then I take my medicine.

God chose the weak to shame the strong.  And he chose the ugly to shame the good looking.  I’m living proof.

The anvil is not afraid of the hammer.  But my thumb is.

Sometimes I do the very things I hate–like slamming my shoulder into thin persons.

Sometimes I feel like my sermons lack the wow factor.

Do you think yourself wise? Then there’s a donkey inside your waistcoat.  Do you think yourself handsome?  Then there’s a bernerk in your beard.

If I had to choose, I would rather smoke a cigar than a stick of barley-sugar.

All men are sinners and need to be saved but I think the French are a little worse than most.

My wife is a dem fine gel.

Oh yeah?  How about you try climbing all these stairs up to the pulpit Sunday after Sunday then see how dang cheerful you are.

Well well well, look at all the Arminians who have joined us this morning. This is a pretty kettle of fish!

I just wish that the outside of me could match the inside of me.

When you preach, either go big or go home.  And at the end of the day, it is what it is.

He who is unmerciful to his beast is worse than a beast himself.  Unless he has a chijuajua.

Well, there you have a small sampling of this amazing and surprising book.  I hope you were as inspired by these quotes as I was.

(Disclaimer: I have not yet authenticated this book, so I cannot vouch for the veracity of these quotes.  I’m planning on taking it to my friend Chuck the Authenticator as soon as I can locate where he’s currently living.  He moves around a lot.)

  • http://www.earnestlyicq.blogspot.com Chris

    Favorite:
    All men are sinners and need to be saved but I think the French are a little worse than most.

    Doesn't sound like it was written in the 19th century:
    When you preach, either go big or go home. And at the end of the day, it is what it is.

    Whether it's real or not, those are gems……

  • MarkAltrogge

    Like I said Chris, I can't vouch for their veracity…..

  • Kim

    Can I add one?

    "Final perseverance is the necessary evidence of genuine conversion… especially if you're a Red Sox fan." (above veracity disclaimer applies.)

    • MarkAltrogge

      Kim, that has a definite Spurgeonesque ring to it. I'd say it's real.

  • http://thebreadline.wordpress.com/ Pastor Dave Bissett

    Hey Mark, who is responsible for this artist rendition of CHS? let us know.
    db

    • MarkAltrogge

      Hi Dave,

      I did that rendition.

  • http://www.theverticall.blogspot.com Blaine

    LOL! Yes, I'm quite convinced the "Prince" actually spoke the words "wow factor"….hahahaha

    • MarkAltrogge

      Yes Blaine, that sounds like him to me too. I'm pretty convinced.

  • Jenn

    LOL @
    When you preach, either go big or go home. And at the end of the day, it is what it is.

    I don't know why, but that made me chuckle lol!

    • Mark Altrogge

      Glad you got a chuckle from it Jenn!

  • http://www.amultitudeofmercies.blogspot.com Trisha

    I always knew Spurgeon had a sense of humor. Now I have soon to be authenticated proof!

    • Mark Altrogge

      Hey Trisha, I hope he’s laughing at this post!

  • Joanne

    MarK; if anyone had told me back in the day..that you would be painting portraits of Charles Spurgeon… I don't know what I would have said..besides "who's Charles Spurgeon?"
    however , what I'm most concerned about is your previous post concerning the smoke machine in church.. I don't hink it's a good idea at all… (although quite seeker friendly)..I'm afraid you might be tempted to break into a rendition of "Smoke on the Water (Deep Purple) and you might offend someone.. just a thought.

    • MarkAltrogge

      Actually, Joanne, I think Smoke on the Water (and yes I know it is by Deep Purple – my band Phoosh used to do it and the bar crowd would go crazy) would be good to do in church because it would attract aging hippies like myself. And then we can move right into "Fire and Rain" in keeping with the smoke/fire theme. After that we'll finish with a rousing version of Bye Bye Miss American Pie. Why, I don't know. But somehow I think Spurgeon would approve.

      • Joanne

        I keep forgetting to not eat in the front of the computer when I am reading this blog due to laughter issues….

        • Mark Altrogge

          I guess it’s better than drinking in front of your computer and snorting it out your nose

  • jun

    funny. This sounds more like a Mark Altrogge than a Spurgeon. hehehe

    • MarkAltrogge

      Is that so jun? Hmmmmmmmmm you may be on to something…

  • J P

    sure sounds like and early April Fools joke to me…. not sure he knew Ben Benank!

    • Mark Altrogge

      Don’t know Ben Benank

  • J P

    Mark- Ben Benank or Benank is what those in the financial trade affectionately refer to the
    chairman of the Federal Reserve.

    Thanks for the effort you take to blog. I enjoy your commentary and observations. JP

    • Mark Altrogge

      Oh…guess I’m kind of out of it in the financial realm. Thanks J P!

  • Petra Hefner

    Hey, Jun took the words right out of my mouth! :-)

    • MarkAltrogge

      Well Jun was partly right. There are actually some real Spurgeon quotes in the post. I happened to add a couple phrases onto the end of them….you'll have to guess which ones are authentic

  • Mark Altrogge

    Good job, Jun! You're right on both of those, but there's one more actual Spurgeon quote in there….

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