With the current interest in judgment day and the end of the world, it should not be surprising that some Christians would be concerned for the welfare of their pets in the event that the owners are suddenly caught up to heaven.
Sure enough, some concerned pet owners have launched a website to meet such a serious need. For a small $10 fee, which is charged only to discourage everyone but serious Christian pet owners, aftertherapturepetcare.com promises to have non-Christians search for your pets and look after them in the event you are raptured. They promise to take care of every legitimate kind of pet, even insects that are left behind. Yes, even your pet tarantula will be in good hands – that is, if you trust the unbelievers who will be running aftertherapturepetcare.com.
We have 2 dogs, which actually look rather post-apocalyptic since we recently had them shaved. My wife failed to specify how short to shave them, so the groomer did an extreme job, shaving every bit of hair from their bodies but their tails and snouts. So they actually look like dog versions of the Zombies in “I Am Legend.” I think they will probably be fine after the rapture, hiding in empty buildings and eating other pets whose owners didn’t sign them up with aftertherapturepetcare.com.
Here they are: End Time Zombie Dogs
Now would be a good time to launch other end-time businesses. After the rapture, we’ll need people to water our plants, trim our bushes and get the honey from our beehives. What if the rapture happens while you’re barbecuing on your patio? Turnoffymygrill.com will come to your house, turn off your grill, remove your burgers, and give your grill a final scrape.
And who’s going to care for the wild birds in your neighborhood? Keepfillingmybirdfeedertillthemillenium.com will make sure those Chickadees and Pileated Woodpeckers don’t go hungry. Unplugmyrazor.com will come to your house and unplug your electric razor that was left buzzing in the bathroom sink when you were raptured while shaving, as happened in the classic movie “A Thief in the Night.” Here’s the opening scene. Show this to your non-Christian friends and they’ll get saved on the spot.
And we all know that many Christians’ cars will suddenly be driverless when the rapture occurs, causing accidents and stranding vehicles all over the planet. That’s why TowmycaronDoomsday.com will make millions. So will Findmymotorboat.com and Wheresmyridingmower.com? And what airline wouldn’t sign up for Oopsthepilotdisappeared.com to protect their customers?
The field is wide open for rapture-based websites. What others would you suggest?