Christianity Tomorrow – Paul Tripp Donates Mustache To Science

Sometimes when I get bored I like to think about what the Christian headlines of the future will be. What will magazines like Christianity Today be saying in 25 years? Maybe something like this…

PAUL TRIPP DONATES MUSTACHE TO SCIENCE

Philadelphia - The trademark mustache that has changed so many lives is no more. After many years of sporting his trade mark “Tripp-Stache”, Paul Tripp has decided to donate his famed mustache to science.

The mustache will be donated to researchers at Temple University. “We’re really excited to get this mustache for a couple reasons,” said Temple research scientist Michael Vilmer. “First, we want to determine if the mustache really is a mustache. We have reason to believe that it might actually be some sort of independent organism, such as a new species of beaver or ferret. We won’t know for sure until we do DNA testing, but we’re fairly certain that we are dealing with a new species of animal. Second, we’re hoping to clone that bad boy. It’s not every day that a mustache of this density and lushness comes into our lab, and we have high hopes of reproducing it.”

When asked about the possibility of cloning, Tripp said, “You know, there are a lot of guys out there who are really broken up about their inability to grow facial hair. On an almost weekly basis I have guys coming to me and saying, ‘Paul, I need help. My kids don’t respect me because I don’t have a mustache.’ My heart goes out to these guys. If we can clone my mustache and make it available to other guys, it will be a huge step in the right direction.”

When asked if he would regrow the famous mustache, Tripp commented, “You know, I’m not really sure. I can grow a full beard in twenty minutes, so I’m not really worried about it at this time.”

Sources at Temple confirmed that they are also in negotiations over David Crowder’s beard, but that nothing has been agreed to yet.

FYI – This is written in pure fun. Dr. Tripp, if you happen to read this, know two things. First, your books have helped me immensely and we carry lots of them at our church. Second, I hope I can grow a mustache like you someday.

  • http://mrserven.blogspot.com Mrs. Erven

    Bahahaha! My pastor's wife says she's a "Paul Tripp Groupie," so I'm sending this to her immediately. :)

  • thatsnotfunnymisskatie

    You do follow @XIANITY on Twitter, right?

    • http://twitter.com/stephenaltrogge @stephenaltrogge

      Yes I do. Very funny.

  • http://FacesOfLions.net Dave Wilson

    Mark,

    As you know, I share your fascination with this epic lip curtain.

    That said, I don't think you should encourage him to donate the stache. I'm convinced that, like Samson, he would lose his power if his cookie duster were ever shorn.

    By the by, have you ever seen the short film "Mr. Stache?" Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5FWusjctuc

    Dave

    • http://twitter.com/stephenaltrogge @stephenaltrogge

      That's a good point Dave. What would happen to his ministry if he lost the stache?

  • Cornelius

    The Stash is real, bro!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=664413331 Jerold Tay

    BAHAHAHA…….His moustache will be full of the sweetness of God's grace!

  • Pingback: PaulTripp: A glimpse into… « Tweets «

  • MelFry

    HAHAHAHAHA!! I was wondering if the stache might possess super powers of some sort. Maybe it is part of what helps Tripp communicate the truth so welll. If so, I want to be the first recipient of the cloned mustache. I think it could become "sporty" for women like me to have "the Tripp Stache" don't you??!?!

    • http://twitter.com/stephenaltrogge @stephenaltrogge

      Yeah, you could totally have a Tripp Stache!!!

  • http://seminarypsalter.wordpress.com @seminarypsaltet

    If ever the power of the stache could be combined with the power of Wayne Mack’s Hawaiian shirt there would be no stopping it.

  • http://twitter.com/PeterLaRuffa @PeterLaRuffa

    Love @PaulTripp. Had dinner w/ him once. I'll not soon forget watching him eat soup despite the TrippStache. Quite impressive.

  • jac

    Stephen Foster (of "Camptown Races" and "Oh Susanna!") once wrote a pretty funny song on mustaches. :D
    http://www.stephenfoster.info/pdf/amoustache.pdf?…

  • Yuck

    I'm sorry. I can't get past a public speaker with a molestache. I have to look away while they are speaking.

    Same goes for balding men that shave their heads rather than appear to be balding. Ewww.