Many Christians struggle with depression, yet receive little sympathy from their fellow believers.
They are viewed with a certain amount of suspicion – they must be harboring some secret sin or they’re failing to exercise faith. Otherwise, they’d be healed. When you feel like you are being judged, you won’t be likely to talk about your depression.
In his insightful article on depression, A Depressing Report About Depression, David Murray says that often Christians feel uncomfortable talking about being depressed, or seeking help because there’s so much confusion about depression:
“The vast majority of people know very little about the role of the brain in our thinking and feeling processes. I’m afraid that even many Christian counselors and pastors lack vital understanding of brain science, and especially of the role the brain plays in our spiritual lives…”
“Yes, of course, some depressions can be caused by sinful actions, thoughts, and feelings. But depression can also be caused by the “machine” that processes our perceptions, thoughts, and feelings breaking down and malfunctioning. Like the factory with a broken conveyor belt, it doesn’t matter how many high-quality raw materials you put into it, the goods are going to come out damaged until the machinery is fixed. You can press the switch as often as you want, but if the cable is broken you will remain in the dark.”
Another reason Christians are hesitant to talk about depression is hyper-spirituality.
“Although Christians with heart disease, diabetes, blood disorders, cancer, etc. do not think that it is unspiritual to seek and use medicines to relieve their symptoms and even cure their illness, many seem to think that there is some special spiritual virtue in suffering depression for months and years without any medical intervention. Their family and friends don’t usually see much super-spirituality in this approach!”
“And the next time someone tells you that taking medication for depression shows a lack of faith, or a lack of trust in God’s Word, ask to see their usually overflowing medicine and vitamin cabinets!”
Sadly, many years ago, when my wife began to struggle with depression, I didn’t understand it. I thought she wasn’t thinking right, wasn’t exercising enough faith. She was caving in by taking medication. Then I thought that maybe it was somehow my fault, that I was doing something wrong as a husband. Or maybe it was a demonic attack. But eventually, I came to see that our outward man is decaying, and that our brain is part of our outward man. If our bodies can develop diabetes, why couldn’t our brain develop problems?
The fury of a depression
When someone is depressed they are really suffering. I’ve heard the phrase “the fury of a depression,” and my wife has confirmed it. She’s told me that no one can know what it’s like if they haven’t experienced it.
It’s a sad thing if someone in their pain can’t talk with anyone about it. So the first thing to do is to listen. With sympathy and compassion. Be slow, slow, slow to offer solutions. There will come time later to explore possible physical and spiritual causes.
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Hi Mark, I don't often do this because I try not to make my comments on other people's blogs as an advertisement for my own, but I recently went through this and wrote a blog post about it. I hope you don't mind I share the link here. Please delete it if you feel it's not appropriate. It is an interesting subject in the Christian arena, I think. Blessings! Kim
http://becomingt2w.wordpress.com/2011/09/19/dont-...
Thanks Kim, lots of good stuff in your article. Especially appreciate the centrality of the gospel in what you wrote. My only addition would be that in some cases of extreme depression, I've known people who were just "unable" to believe God loved them, even though they knew the gospel, and could tell it to me, but when they took medication, were able to see it differently and express trust in the Lord. Now I don't recommend that people run quickly to medication, but in severe cases it can help. If I completely missed all this in your article, please forgive me and correct me!
Hi Mark, Thank you for adding your needed correction! I should have been more clear about my experience. Both my postpartum and drug-induced depression from prednisone (this most recent experience) were not severe cases, by any means. I was never clinically diagnosed. I think I wrote the post on my blog, and again, maybe I need to clarify it more clearly, not to deal with the clinically-diagnosed (severe case) but less severe symptoms to which many (more?) women could probably relate. The post, I hope, encourages women that sometimes to just know and meditate on the gospel is more than enough in those times. Oftentimes we confuse "believing" with "feeling." In those times, meditating on gospel truth was a huge encouragement to my soul, though I felt listless. I felt like I was in a boat alone… drifting out in a vast, empty ocean… yet I *knew* God saved me, redeemed and called me out of my wretched darkness into His glorious light. I felt nothing, but the mere knowledge of gospel truth kept me afloat. Does this make sense? Please let me know if my article is deficient! I'd love the correction! Thanks, Mark.
I certainly affirm what you’re describing here. I struggled with depression many years ago. It got to where I couldn’t even go to church. The sum total of help I got during that time was my pastor telling me “You know, you really need to be in church!”
Not the best time in my life in terms of getting support from my Christian family around me.
By God’s grace, I eventually “came out of it” without the need to see a doctor. But I remember well the helplessness I felt.
Sounds like a sad experience, Rick. May we all be more compassionate. I'm glad you came out of it! Praise God!
The difficult part about this is that no doctor or scientist can say what is wrong with the brain, or brain chemistry, or if that is what "causes" depressed feelings. There is no test they can run, or blood work, or anything. Yes our bodies do affect the way we think and feel (imaging losing sleep for days on end, or having a thyroid or hormone issue). However, the jury is still out, by a long shot, as to WHAT changes in our brains or bodies account for depressed feelings. This is coming from someone who was medicated for 11 years before weaning off of the meds. It helped with symptoms (such as anxiety, or obsessive thoughts), but not the root of the problem, which really went back to what I was saying to myself, or basically un-renewed and unbiblical thoughts. Such as "things will never get better. I'm a mess, my life is a mess." and so on. And those thoughts affected the way I felt. The medication that is prescribed will will even say in commercials it is more of a "hypothetically, this helps with something in the brain". Even the doctors say they are not sure how it works. But I wont deny that it helps people FEEL better. (the correction in thinking should come from biblical counseling). I do think that all other avenues should be sought out (diet, exercise, medical tests, counseling) before medication, especially since there really is no basis for a "chemical imbalance" in the brain. No doctor can test me for this, he can only go on what I tell him. But I really wish the best for your wife, and coming from someone who still struggles with depressed feelings, I know how draining and debilitating it can be. However, there is always hope.
On the topic of doctors not really knowing how the medication works, the same holds true for many other medications including some for cholesterol, migraines, seizures and blood pressure to name a few. What I find odd is that there isn't a big rush to convince others to stop taking such medications.
At any rate, thanks for the post. I, too, suffered for years (a couple of decades) before taking medication for depression. As is often the case, those around me suffered even more. I've had to change meds a few times and have accepted that I will probably be on medication for the rest of my life. I'm fine with that.
Thanks for helping to get the truth out in the open.
Thanks for your comments, Stan. I'm so sorry to hear that you have suffered in this way. You are right, we don't know how medication works, but we don't hesitate to take it for so many other things. I don't know how ibuprofen works, but man do I take it when I have a headache. To me, ibuprofen is a mercy from God when I have a headache. Not that it's a substitute for prayer, but I'm grateful for it. Thanks again!
I have suffered from depression by the time I hit my teens. I got saved at the age of 19, but the problem of depression did not go away. I was ashamed to share with my family for they couldn't understand why I was feeling the way I did. I thought I was in sin. I am a doctor by profession that helped me to look at the problem of depression from a biblical and a medical perspective.
I totally agree that most of the times, depression stems from our constitution, purely physical. I have also noticed that people who suffer from depression are extremely sensitive souls and often suffer from migraines. I have been suffering from migraines for 10 years.
By God's grace, my depression has reduced considerably after battling with it for 20 years. No medications, but I feed myself on His word daily, and fight to rejoice in Christ everyday. It's hard at times, but He is faithful!
I don't know why I struggle with depression but it has made me dependent on Christ more and more and taught me to be compassionate with the ones who suffer from this problem. "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Cor. 1:3
Thank you for this post!!
Excellent comments, Docnash! I too know people who suffer from migraines and have depression – and it's not that they're just down about having migraines. In one case the person had migraines for 2 years before developing depression. A well-respected neurologist told me that especially in women, migraines and depression are often connected.
I especially like the Scripture you shared. God can use all our suffering to give us more compassion for others and make us fruitful and loving in sharing God's compassion and love with them in their suffering. Again, thanks!
My husband and I, and our three young kids, are "M's" in India for the time being. We'll soon have been here three years. I've really enjoyed this blog. It's been a real encouragement to me many times. I have struggled with depression for years (I'm 33 now). I've had post-partum depression three times and been on medications two or three different times–including during my time in India. So many times I've felt that I cannot bear life and its horrors. I love Jesus and He is so good to me. Still I have black times and real spiritual depression, especially as I'm around such darkness here. I wish I were different and I don't tell just anyone that I'm chronically depressed. People seem clueless and I don't like being judged.
Hannah, I feel so sad for you. I can't imagine how much you are suffering. I so respect you for continuing to serve the Lord as you do and what glory it brings him that in the midst of your pain you can say "I love Jesus and He is so good to me." Thanks for adding your comments, especially for the way you have described it. I think it helps others to know there are people like you who can relate to them.
And thank you for your kind words of encouragement.
Thank you.
I don't really know what to say… I regularly struggle with depression, not severe, but enough to really, really discourage me. I guess I feel like I can't talk about it because people won't be able handle it, especially since it happens regularly. I don't blog about it either, because of the same reason.
And I do feel that the church does too much "problem-solving" by giving people sayings and bible verses without taking time to listen.
Hi Ruthiey,
I'm sad for you too, that you would suffer this way and not feel you have anyone to talk to about it. I hope that the Lord will provide someone for you to share your burden with.
Mark,
Great article. My short term depression came on while on some serious medications to jump start my immune system last fall. It was an experience that I had never had before and don't ever want to have again. Mind in a fog. Emotions in a dark cloud. Apathy.
Satan loved it. He spent so much time whispering that "there was no God" that I was alone. I can tell you that the rational, intellectual, understanding of God was the anchor. The "feeling" of God's presence was absent.
The blessing for me, was that within a few weeks of the meds being finished (successfully!), the darkness fell away.
My two take aways:
1. Depression is not just reserved for those "not right with God"
2. Never rely solely on how your relationship with God makes you "feel"
Thank you Stephen, for sharing. I appreciate your 2 take aways. As I mentioned earlier, physically-based suffering still can provide spiritual temptations, and one of those is to doubt God's love or faithfulness. And not only is depression something that those who are truly right with God will go through, but all kinds of other suffering. We should never assume that because someone is suffering in any way, they aren't right with God.
Thanks for adding your comments, and I'm glad took the darkness away from you!
There is so much confusion about depression period – it's like a pit with slick walls, even with your best efforts you're not getting out without help. Many people I love struggle with depression, some for decades. For them, it's frustrating and isolating. I'm made so many mistakes in caring for them but by the Father's grace, we've all learned alot.
I've learned that I can trust my depressed family member and/or friend to a loving Father who loves them infinitely more than I ever will. I've learned that I don't have to "fix"them or always have a word of encouragement or advice – sometimes it's enough to sit together quietly or watch a favorite TV show together. I've learned that saying I love someone means making a commitment to remain in someone's life no matter how hard it gets or how dark it becomes. I'm not talking about allowing abuse but learning to let grace, not fear, drive our relationships was a great gift from the Father.
Why the Father allows depression is a mystery but it was helpful for us to remember that depression never changes who He is or the great, great love He has for us, His children.
Wonderful comments, Elaine! So very true – we don't have to "fix" people – God can. And thanks for mentioning that sometimes it's enough just to sit together with them or watch TV together. When Job's friends just sat with him, they served him far more than when they began to suggest why Job was suffering.
Mark: Thanks for having the courage to post on this difficult subject and for your transparency. It will help a lot of people. With the increasingly sophisticated brain-imaging techniques there is increasing evidence of similar chemical/electrical patterns in the brains of depressed people. There's still the debate over cause/effect, and there's still the problem of finding reliable medications. However, God is gradually opening this "last frontier" to humanity and we can only hope and pray that He will give scientists "Penicillin" type moments. If you send me your email, I can send you my book "Christians get depressed too." I think our wives have passed through similar deep waters.
Hi David,
Thanks so much for your comments! I pray God will in his mercy grant more medical knowledge and solutions. And I have your book, and it is excellent. We've got it in our church book store and recommended it from the front a couple weeks ago. Thanks for writing that book. I think it will encourage a lot of people.
Mark
I suffer from both anxiety and depression. I am a born again Christian but I still struggle. I am on medication but still struggle.
My husband feels sorry that I have this. I tell him talking about it helps. Keep me in pray. I am Kristi’s friend and David Miller’s mom.
Hi Dorothy,
I'm so sorry and sad you have to suffer like you do. It sounds like your husband is wonderful and understanding. He actually introduced himself to me a couple weeks ago. Kristi has mentioned you to me also – I will pray for you.
I struggled with depression (diagnosed as dysthymia) for almost exactly twenty years, and although it seemed to resolve itself about ten years ago (which I know is unusual, but that was my own experience, and it occurred at the same time I quit having migraines, so I think maybe something chemical was going on), I continue to really have a heart for folks who have this burden, because I remember and know how that darkness feels, and I can testify that God's love (and really any experience of joy) often felt inaccessible in those times, even as my heart and head acknowledged it to be true and wondrous.
I've heard some really disturbing perspectives on depression from some God-loving, God-fearing Christians over the years, and have been encouraged and blessed by your posts on the subject. Thank you for being enlightened (in a Godly sense of the word) on this topic. It's nice to be able to share links to these posts on Facebook and know that some of my friends will benefit very tangibly from this wisdom.
Thank you for this honest post, Mark. It was very recent that I came to a place of not being able to go about my depression on my own anymore. I spoke to a friend who is in ministry and he shared that he also struggles with depression and not only sees a counselor, but takes medication and believed that sometimes you have to have both to see results. I've started the counseling, and haven't gotten to the point of deciding if I actually need medication. I think a lot of mine is situational, but going back to a therapist who is a Christian, has probably been one of the best decisions I've made in my Christian life. I've blogged a little on it, but it's still weird to put it out there that this is a struggle of mine when so many of my friends SEEM to have it all together.
http://reflectinghearts.com/2011/11/24/with-thank...