Desiring God Announces Release of Don’t Waste Your Life Video Game

by Stephen Altrogge on May 8, 2012

MINNEAPOLIS – Desiring God Ministries announced today that it was partnering with Activision Studios to release a “Don’t Waste Your Life” video game. Speaking on behalf of the ministry, Tony Reinke said, “We believe that there are basically two unreached people groups left in the world. There are the individuals living in the 10/40 window and there are the young men living in their mom’s basement. We really believe that this game will be a tool to reach these desperate young men.”

Jonathan Parnell, who has been working closely with Activision, revealed some of the details of the game. “This game is going to be a little bit different. Instead of losing points for dying during a mission, you will actually gain points. In this game dying is gain when doing the mission. The more you die, the more points you get. It’s a little counterintuitive but we really think it’s going to drive home the point. We’re also going to have different “hedonism” power ups that you can add to your character. If you find a C.S. Lewis scroll, instant power up. If you find a glass of orange juice AND drink it correctly, instant power up.”

A member of the Activision development team who wished to remain anonymous revealed that, “…there are going to be some pretty sick evil bosses at the end of each level. I mean, we’re talking the Sea Shell King, the Doom Tube, and the final boss, Retirement Randy.”

At the time of this article it was unclear whether the game would incorporate physical movement. Parnell said, “We’re working at adding different gestures to the Nintendo Wii version of the game. We’re modeling the gestures after the image below.”

Possible gestures for the "Don't Waste Your Life Video Game"

NOTE: Desiring God is one of my favorite ministries out there. If any DG employees read this (I’m talking to you Reinke and Etter), please feel my affection.

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Mark Norman May 8, 2012 at 3:33 pm

This is too funny. Thanks for the laughs, especially the "possible gestures"!

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rcjr May 8, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Should've posted this April 1

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Brian May 8, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Can't wait for the final version. I was a beta tester of an early release, until my mom kicked me out of the basement.

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Barnabas May 8, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Do you get to slap the characters that stop to collect sea shells?

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Josh M. May 8, 2012 at 7:03 pm

LOL, too funny dude!

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Staci May 8, 2012 at 4:17 pm

I would seriously buy this for my teenage son if it were real. :)

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spurgeon May 8, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Affection felt. This is very funny brother, maybe the funniest thing I've seen online since Xianity announced on twitter the Elvish translation of DWYL. That there's funny.

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Steve C May 8, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Oh no! I missed the Elvish translation of DWYL.

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Jonathan May 8, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Nice work, Stephen!

It was a pleasure to work with Activision. They gave us some free copies of all their games. Reinke took them home to give them away, you know, reach out to the neighbors. However, he strangely comes into the office around lunch time now. His productivity levels have diminished and he has dark rings under his eyes, not to mention all the Monsters he throws down in a day.

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Stephen Altrogge May 9, 2012 at 8:00 am

Yeah…I know how Reinke works.

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Jared Wilson May 9, 2012 at 8:43 am

There are people puling their hair out on the interwebs because they think this is real. And that makes this all the more awesome.

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Bryon Lockhart May 9, 2012 at 8:55 am

I appreciate your gift of humor Stephen. Very funny.

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Luke May 11, 2012 at 12:14 am

So we're encouraging people to do worthwhile things through the means of a video game? Interesting.

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levininja May 14, 2012 at 1:23 pm

I totally thought this was real until I got to the very end and saw the hand gestures…
:-) Nice.

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Crystal Allison May 18, 2012 at 10:10 am

Is this legit? I need a copy for someone.

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