Desiring God Announces Release of Don’t Waste Your Life Video Game

MINNEAPOLIS – Desiring God Ministries announced today that it was partnering with Activision Studios to release a “Don’t Waste Your Life” video game. Speaking on behalf of the ministry, Tony Reinke said, “We believe that there are basically two unreached people groups left in the world. There are the individuals living in the 10/40 window and there are the young men living in their mom’s basement. We really believe that this game will be a tool to reach these desperate young men.”

Jonathan Parnell, who has been working closely with Activision, revealed some of the details of the game. “This game is going to be a little bit different. Instead of losing points for dying during a mission, you will actually gain points. In this game dying is gain when doing the mission. The more you die, the more points you get. It’s a little counterintuitive but we really think it’s going to drive home the point. We’re also going to have different “hedonism” power ups that you can add to your character. If you find a C.S. Lewis scroll, instant power up. If you find a glass of orange juice AND drink it correctly, instant power up.”

A member of the Activision development team who wished to remain anonymous revealed that, “…there are going to be some pretty sick evil bosses at the end of each level. I mean, we’re talking the Sea Shell King, the Doom Tube, and the final boss, Retirement Randy.”

At the time of this article it was unclear whether the game would incorporate physical movement. Parnell said, “We’re working at adding different gestures to the Nintendo Wii version of the game. We’re modeling the gestures after the image below.”

Possible gestures for the "Don't Waste Your Life Video Game"

NOTE: Desiring God is one of my favorite ministries out there. If any DG employees read this (I’m talking to you Reinke and Etter), please feel my affection.

Comments

  1. Brian says

    Can't wait for the final version. I was a beta tester of an early release, until my mom kicked me out of the basement.

  2. spurgeon says

    Affection felt. This is very funny brother, maybe the funniest thing I've seen online since Xianity announced on twitter the Elvish translation of DWYL. That there's funny.

  3. Jonathan says

    Nice work, Stephen!

    It was a pleasure to work with Activision. They gave us some free copies of all their games. Reinke took them home to give them away, you know, reach out to the neighbors. However, he strangely comes into the office around lunch time now. His productivity levels have diminished and he has dark rings under his eyes, not to mention all the Monsters he throws down in a day.

  4. Jared Wilson says

    There are people puling their hair out on the interwebs because they think this is real. And that makes this all the more awesome.

  5. says

    What?!?! It’s not real?! I wanted to Waste my life playing Don’t Waste Your Life. I had the chance to be a missionary without even putting pants on! That’s what every young and restless reformer dreams of.

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