We all have them. Maybe you’re one of them. In fact, I’m one of them at times. I’m talking about people who take ages to respond to email. Here are some suggestions for getting faster responses to your emails.
- Begin your email by saying, “There’s a good chance that I’m under surveillance, so this will be my last communication.”
- Begin the email by saying, “I’m writing this as they are breaking into my house. If anyone asks, you never knew me.”
- Play the guilt card. “Hey, it took you a while to get to me last time. You probably had a family emergency or something, so no big deal.”
- Put the words “CONFIDENTIAL: YOUR EYES ONLY” in the subject line.
- Put these words in the subject line: “Okay, I need to reveal my true identity. My real name is XXXXXX and I’m an undercover agent.”
- WRITE THE ENTIRE EMAIL IN CAPS AND USE MULTIPLE EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!
- Write the entire email using the Wingdings font. Then include the code key at the bottom of the email.
- End your email with, “Hold on I hear something downstairs…”
- End your email with, “Farewell friend, may we meet again at the pearly gates.”
- End your email with, “Promise me one thing: if I don’t make it back, take care of my family.”
- End your email with, “The treasure map is hidden under my mattress. Please finish what I couldn’t.”
These are my suggestions. What are some other good ways to get fast responses to email?
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
End your email with "Please be helping, I have 10,0000,0000 USD in off-shore bank for any one who helping me."
These are brilliant ideas. Problem is, employing it in real life leads to people thinking you’re psycho. But perhaps I should try one or two.
You’re a funny guy. Thanks for the entertaining posts!