Some of you are way too happy, and you’re wondering, What can I do to increase my current level of misery?
Search no further, I’ve got just what you need. Call me the medicine man of misery, or alternatively, Dr. Gloom. If you want to double your misery level by 100%, here’s what you need to do:
Get so caught up in what you need to do for God that you forget all that he’s done for you.
This is so easy even a new Christian can do it! Here’s how it works.
Spend as much time as you can thinking about what you need to do for God. Think long and hard about all the ways that you’re failing, and picture, if you can, how unhappy God must be with you. As you read the Bible, make sure you turn a blind eye to all the indicative passages – the passages that talk about what God has done – and laser in on the imperative passages, which tell you how to live.
Don’t thank God for the gospel. Instead, fill your prayers with pleas for holiness and nothing else.
Whatever you do, do not allow yourself to ponder the depths of your own depravity. You might find yourself in total despair, which could lead you to accidentally trust wholly in Christ. Wouldn’t want that to happen!
Until next time, stay miserable my friends. Stay miserable.