Things You Don’t Want To Hear On Thanksgiving

 

Happy Thanksgiving and we hope you don’t hear any of these things tomorrow.

  • Honey where’s the fire extinguisher?
  • Oh I forgot to tell you, I invited my cousin Eddie and his wife and their 18 children.  And they’ll be here in an hour…
  • Honey I need the fire extinguisher like now…
  • Was I supposed to take this little bag out of the turkey before I cooked it?
  • Honey did I tell you that my cousin Eddie and his wife and 18 children are all vegetarians, celiacs, lactose intolerant and don’t eat any corn products?
  • Can we please open some windows so the smoke alarm will shut off?
  • Daddy, what’s wrong with Sparky? He just went and laid on his side after I gave him the turkey carcass.
  • Sorry honey, all we have is decaf (this is definitely the worst thing to hear)…
  • Dad, there are some people at the front door dressed up like pilgrims and Indians and they want to sing to you…
  • I think this turkey will be okay once I wipe the fire extinguisher foam off…
  • Hey kids, I read that the Pilgrims probably didn’t even have turkey on the first Thanksgiving so we’re having something authentic – woodchuck!
  • And thank you for this food, and thank you that I lost my job yesterday – oh honey, sorry but I forgot to mention that to you…
  • I didn’t have quite enough pumpkin pie filling so I mixed in some ground-up jalapenos….
  • Don’t worry honey.  Even though I burned the turkey we have something just as good – Boca Burgers!
  • Hey Dad, this is great!  Can we go out to a restaurant with Uncle Eddie and all our cousins every Thanksgiving?

Any more you’d add?  Have a great day!

….

Comments

      • Shannon says

        I don't know if we ever found out what cause it…it looked fine on the outside…it sure was a let down…smelling yummy turkey all day. I can't remember what we did after that….must've just filled up on all the side dishes and pies :)

  1. Ben says

    “It’s the marshmallows. They’re actually on fire…”

    We heard that just today. Thankfully the kitchen seems to have been saved for further use (and we probably can still make some use of the charcoalified sweet potatoes).

    • Mark Altrogge says

      Hey Ben, I hate it when my marshmallows catch on fire… a little char on the sweet potatoes will probably make them taste pretty good

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