What If the Beatles Had Been Irish?

by Stephen Altrogge on January 23, 2012

This is for you dad.

(via 22 Words)

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The Most Exquisite Pleasure I Have Ever Had

by Mark Altrogge on January 23, 2012

Would you like to increase your joy in the Lord?  (Talk about a loaded question.  No Mark, I want less joy.  Tell me how I can decrease it).

One of the ways God produces joy in my life is giving thanks.

Giving thanks – as much and as often as we can for as many things as we can – is one of the most important spiritual habits we can cultivate.

David MacIntyre, in his book, The Hidden Life of Prayer, tells us:

Fraser of Brea, at one time a prisoner for Christ’s sake on the Bass Rock, resolved that he would search out and record the loving-kindnesses of God. He did so with a very happy effect upon his own spirit. He says, “The calling to mind and seriously meditating on the Lord’s dealings with me as to soul and body, His manifold mercies, has done me very much good, cleared my case, confirmed my soul of God’s love and my interest in Him, and made me love Him. Oh,…what wells of water have mine eyes been opened to see, which before were hid. Scarce anything hath done me more good than this.”

Recently two things have inspired me to try to be grateful for small blessings.

I recently asked a friend who is suffering from cancer what he was going to do that evening.  He said, “I’m just going to stay in and stay warm.  I used to make all kinds of plans to do this and do that, but now I’m just grateful to be able to relax in a warm house.”

How many blessings I take for granted.  I should thank Jesus every day for a warm home, a hot shower, a cup of coffee in the morning.

I was also inspired by this quote from the The Hidden Life of Prayer:

“I have experienced today the most exquisite pleasure that I have ever had in my life,” said a young invalid; “I was able to breathe freely for about five minutes.”

Wow.  How often do we thank God we can breathe?  That we can see and hear?  And walk?  And read, and think clearly, and laugh?

Let’s thank God today for every small blessing – every “exquisite pleasure” – we can think of.  Make a list.  Write your blessings on post-it notes.  Write them on a white board or in a prayer journal.

What are some small blessings you are grateful for?

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God Takes Away Mercies So That We Would Run To Him

by Stephen Altrogge on January 21, 2012

It is strange that when God gives his children mercies, they generally set their hearts more on the mercies than on the Giver of them. But when the night comes, and he sweeps all the mercies away, then at once they each say, “Now, my God, I have nothing to sing of but thee; I must come to thee, and to thee only.”

Charles Spurgeon

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Welcome To the Bark Side

by Stephen Altrogge on January 20, 2012

This is pretty creative, I must say.

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Anyone Want To Write A Short Story?

by Stephen Altrogge on January 20, 2012

I like stories. Correction, I love stories. I love novels, short stories, fantasy, western, the whole lot.

I would love to read your stories. So I’ve got an idea. Over the next week, let’s write some stories. Your story can be about anything. Spiritual, secular, sci-fi, whatever. And don’t make it any longer than 1,500 words. This is your chance to have some fun and be creative. Don’t freak out about making it too perfect. This is just for fun.

When your story is done, upload it to scribd.com and post the link on this post. I’ll read as many as I can and post the links to some of my faves. I’ll also write one and upload it.

So what do you think? Are you in?

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Bye, Bye Mrs. Chicken Pot Pie

by Mark Altrogge on January 19, 2012

In 1971 Don McLean wrote American Pie and there have been several versions done since, including one by Madonna, and a Star Wars version by “Weird Al” Yankovic.  So I decided that on my one month anniversary of getting my stent to write yet another version.  So pull out your guitar and sing it to the tune of American Pie…

Mrs. Chicken Pot Pie

A long long time ago
I can still remember
How that bacon used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those taste buds dance
And maybe they’d be happy for a while
But last December left me quaking
When I jogged my chest was aching
A stress test at the doc showed
An artery was blocked oh
I can’t remember if I laughed
When the doctor said to get a cath
But something turned from joy to wrath
The day the bacon died
So…

Bye, bye Mrs. Chicken Pot Pie
No more patties, nothing fatty, no more double French fries
It’s fat free yogurt on a half piece of rye
Singin’ this’ll be the day that I die
This’ll be the day that I die

Well, did you see that needle shine
That went into that vein of mine
When they wheeled the gurney in?
Now I do believe, though I was shocked
To see my artery was blocked
And now I’m gonna need a shiny stent
Well I’m gonna have to change my food
And take Plavix now to thin my blood
My list of meds grows tall
Man I hate that cholesterol!
I love my ribs and brisket, ham and chuck
Give me greasy chicken, ham or duck
But I know I ran out of luck
The day the bacon died
I started singin’

Bye, bye…

Now for 4 weeks I’ve been on my own
I’ve had no fat, not a good T-bone
But that’s not how it used to be
There were omlettes, steak, there were nachos, pork
And saturated fat galore
There were donuts, cakes and balls of cheese
Oh I used to munch on kettle chips
Drink chocolate shakes with creamy sips
I never was concerned
Even when those hot wings burned!
And while I was wolfing down dessert
My stomach didn’t even hurt
The crumbs cascaded down my shirt
The day the bacon died
And I was singin’

Bye, bye…

Mutter, mutter, I can’t have no butter
This fat free yogurt simply makes me shudder
And now my gut is shrinking fast
My diet feels so bland and pale
I’m tired of celery and roasted kale
And all the beans I’ve had could fill a town with gas
And sometimes I smell the sweet perfume
Of bacon fat that fills the room
And I jump up to dance
Oh but I never get the chance
When I make a move to grab a plate
My wife she makes me hesitate:
“Your stent will clog and seal your fate”
So each day the bacon dies
I just start singin’

Bye, bye…

Oh, I used to hang around around the grill
And smell the burgers that would fill
My stomach to the very brim
So come on, keep it simple, keep it quick
Give me some jerky or a sausage stick
Cause reflux is the devil’s only friend
But when I turn the menu’s page
My hands are clenched in fists of rage
I know brown rice and beans
Are some mad vegan’s scheme
And as the flames climb high into the night
I smell the pork but cannot bite
I hear Dr. Oz laugh with delight
And say “The bacon’s died.”
He keeps singin’

Bye, bye…

I never used to sing the blues
But if you ask me now for happy news
I’ll probably smile and turn away
Cause I went down to the butcher store
Where I smelled the bacon years before
But the man there said granola’s now the way
And in the streets the children scream
The lovers cry, and the poets dream
But not a word is spoken
The church bells all are broken
And the three chefs I once most esteemed
Chefs Ray and Flay and Paula Deen
They switched to all low fat cuisine
The day the bacon died
And they were singin’

(slowly and with tears in your eyes)
Bye, bye Mrs. Chicken Pot Pie
No more patties, nothing fatty, no more double French fries
It’s fat free yogurt on a half piece of rye
Singin’ this’ll be the day that I die
This’ll be the day that I die…

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Is What You’re Seeing Real or Fake?

by Stephen Altrogge on January 19, 2012

This video is pretty cool. It shows the special effects that were added in the second season of “Boardwalk Empire”. The line between fiction and reality is getting pretty thin.

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Don’t Rent That Clown Suit Just Yet…

by Mark Altrogge on January 19, 2012

We’re funny creatures, us humans.  We ask our heavenly Father to provide for us then we try to figure out how he’s going to do it.

We pray, then our wheels begin to turn.  Let’s see, I could get a second job.  I could sell my signed Justin Bieber poster on eBay.  I could rent a clown suit and do kids’ parties…

And when we can’t see how he will be able to answer our prayers, we worry.  Our fertile imaginations construct all kinds of “what if’s” in our mind.  What if I don’t have the money to pay my tuition?  Then what if I can’t get a loan?  And I have to get a job flipping burgers?  And what if I don’t make enough doing that and I have to start living under a bridge and turn to a life of crime?  And then get caught and put in prison next to an axe murderer?

Worry is essentially us trying to figure out the future.  Or how God will work in the future.  And when we don’t see how God can do it, we get fearful.  If we can’t see exactly how he’ll provide, or deliver or heal us, we worry.

But God’s not dependent on means.  He’s not dependent on our company or the economy to provide for us. He doesn’t need doctors, medicine or technology.  He often uses means, but doesn’t need them.  He can heal with a word.  Or put a gold coin in the mouth of a fish.  Or multiply a few loaves and fishes.

“We never consider that God can open the eyes of the blind with clay and spittle, he can work above, beyond, and even contrary to means… “Ye shall not see wind, neither shall ye see rain, yet the valley shall be filled with water” (2 Kings 3:17).  God would have us to depend on him though we do not see how the thing may be brought about.” Jeremiah Burroughs, The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment

Did you catch that last sentence?

“God would have us to depend on him though we do not see how the thing may be brought about.”

Someday in heaven we’ll get to trace all God’s providences.  Won’t that be fun?  We’ll say see, here’s the day I offered that prayer.  On that same day, God gave a man in South Africa a new idea and he did this….that changed the way people did this…which created a market for this.  Which caused my boss to transfer me across the country….which led to me meeting my wife…

Part of the joy of heaven will be following all God’s providences and worshiping him for his infinite wisdom and goodness.

Our job is to depend.  To trust.  To pray and thank God for his faithfulness.  To rest.  God’s job is to run the universe and care for his children.  He’s pretty good at it.  And he’s got ways of answering our prayers we don’t even know about.  So don’t rent that clown suit just yet…

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Would the Psalms Survive Our Criticism?

by Stephen Altrogge on January 18, 2012

After the recent brouhaha (I love that word) over Jeff Bethke’s “Why I Love Jesus and Hate Religion” video, I’ve been doing a little more thinking about criticism and creativity. See, I love sound doctrine and I love creativity, and I don’t think that the two are mutually exclusive. But for some reason, us Reformed folks have gotten a bad rap, at times, as being anti-creative and anti-art. I think that part of the reason is because we don’t always treat creativity fairly.

Systematic theology is a wonderful thing. I love Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology, and I think that I’ve probably learned more from that book than from any other. But, when it comes to interpreting a song or a piece of poetry or spoken word, we have to use our theology carefully. We need to interpret and critique the piece on it’s own terms rather than immediately plopping all of our systematic theology on top of it.

This is how we read the Psalms. When I read that in Psalm 17:8, “Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings,” I don’t say, “Well God is spirit and doesn’t have wings!” I understand that the Psalm is poetry and is painting a picture of how God acts, not a physical description of God. I don’t put all my theology on top of the Psalm, I let it first speak for itself.

A song can only say one thing. It can’t say everything and it can’t make every qualification. There are going to be some sharp edges to a song. A book or sermon can make qualifications, a song or piece of poetry cannot. Jeff Bethke couldn’t say everything about religion in his video so he only said one thing: that Jesus is against false religion. Our temptation is to first run creative pieces through the grid of all our systematic theology and then point out the places that it falls short. That’s probably not the best way to do it, and it will probably end up frustrating the artist.

I think a better way to do it is to look at a song, or any other creative piece, and first ask, “What is the author’s main point here? What is he or she really trying to say?” Then, after the main point has been determined, we should ask, “Does this agree with the Bible?” So, for example, in Derek Webb’s controversial song “What Matters More?”, he says:

If I can see what’s in your heart
By what comes out of your mouth
Then it sure looks to me like being straight
Is all it’s about
It looks like being hated
For all the wrong things
Like chasing the wind
While the pendulum swings

‘Cause we can talk and debate
Till we’re blue in the face
About the language and tradition
That He’s coming to save
And meanwhile we sit
Just like we don’t have give a sh** about
Fifty thousand people who are dying today

What is Derek Webb saying? What is his main point? Because if I’m going to be fair to him, I have to critique exactly what he is saying. It seems that he is saying that we Christians tend to get all hung up on the wrong things. We get so focused on sexuality and homosexuality that we miss the fact that 50,000 people are dying of hunger. He doesn’t seem to be specifically saying whether homosexuality is right or wrong, but he is saying that it occupies too much of our attention.

So what does the Bible say about Webb’s song? First, it says that hating another person is always wrong. Webb gets that right. It also says that Christians should care for the poor and the hungry. Caring for the poor really is important. Webb gets that right too. But, the Bible also says that our sexuality is REALLY important. Those who willfully engage in homosexuality will not inherit the kingdom of God. That seems like a pretty big deal to me. If I fail to tell people, I could send them to hell. That’s what Webb gets wrong.

There is a place for dealing with specific word choices in the song, but I don’t think that is the place to start. I think we need to deal with the main point first.

When I read these lyrics I’m tempted to bring all of my theology to every line of the song. For example, I could talk a lot about the language and tradition behind Christian sexuality. And there probably is a place for that, but that’s not the main point of the song. I want to be fair to Derek Webb. I want to be fair to his song. I want to be fair to Jeff Bethke, and fair to other artists.

So for us Reformed folks, let’s preserve our passion for sound doctrine and the Bible. I’m not in any way suggesting that we should abandon sound doctrine or that words don’t have meaning. But let’s also be fair to those who create art. Our critiques and endorsements should always flow from the Bible, but they also should address the main point of the piece.

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This Is What Happens When A Jedi Gets Lazy

by Stephen Altrogge on January 17, 2012

(via)

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