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Is it important that we feel good about ourselves? Is it crucial to our success or well-being that we have high self esteem?
If it is important that we feel good about ourselves, then you’d think the Bible would tell us and encourage us to pursue self-esteem, to make it our meditation and prayer. But nowhere does the Bible say we’re to pursue feeling happy about ourselves.
The Bible does talk about joy and gladness. However, it doesn’t say these originate in us.
The Bible locates joy in the Lord. It says that in his presence there is fullness of joy. Joy is a gift from him, and a result of salvation, a byproduct of knowing and serving him. There’s joy in worshiping and thanking him. But nowhere does the Bible tell us we’ll find joy in ourselves.
Scripture commands us to rejoice and be glad in the Lord – all that he is and all that he has done, not in our own accomplishments. Not to us, not to us, but to your name give glory. Jesus said when we’ve done everything he commands, we’re to say we’re unprofitable servants who only did what we were commanded. Like God when he created, we can look at what we’ve done and see that it is good, but we should thank God for any talents or abilities that he gave us to create.
When the Psalmist asks himself “Why are you cast down on my soul?” he doesn’t encourage himself to feel good about himself. No, he says, “Why are you cast down oh my soul? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise him.”
When Paul describes the secret of contentment he’s learned, it’s not I have learned how to be happy with myself. Instead he says I can do all things through HIM who strengthens me. Paul never says I need to keep feeling better and better about myself, but says I want to know HIM and the power of his resurrection.
We are not to continually say to ourselves I’m good enough smart enough, and doggone it people like me. I deserve good things. I am a great person. If anything, we should say I am a great sinner, but I have a great Savior. Paul claimed the title the worst of sinners – talk about poor self esteem – yet this sinner was one of the most joyful people around because he focused on Christ and his mercy toward him. Paul didn’t dwell on his own worth, but on Christ’s worth.
Neither did Paul dwell morosely on all his sins and failures, despite mentioning that he considered himself the chief of sinners. Paul dwelt on Christ’s mercy and grace. He focused on the fact that despite all his sins and failures, God justified him in Christ, and thus he was filled with joy.
We must ask the right questions.
Do I feel good about myself is not really even a biblical question. The right biblical questions are: Am I condemned for my sins or accepted in the Beloved? Am I guilty or am I justified? Am I conformed to the old man – my old sinful nature – or am I being conformed to the likeness of Christ? Am I rejected by God or welcomed by him through Jesus? Am I ungrateful for the place in life God has assigned me or do I believe he is working all things for my good? Do I fail to see and appreciate God’s mercies and blessings in my life or do thank him for them? Am I hoping in myself or my hoping in God?
Actually, we are most happy when we are not aware of ourselves. The happiest times in life are when we’re caught up in someone else – God. Caught up in doing something like playing an instrument or reading a book or painting a painting and not even aware of ourselves. When we’re caught up in serving God and others.
Let’s take our focus off ourselves today and focus on Christ. He’ll make sure we feel good about the right things.
One of the most devious, destructive lies that Satan wants us to believe is that we are the products of forces outside ourselves. He wants you to believe that because your dad was an angry, vicious man, you too will always be an angry, vicious man. He wants you to believe that because you were mocked in school you will always care too much about what other people think about you. He wants you to believe that because of your biological wiring you will always be a slave to sexual sin.
He wants you to believe that you will never change.
That you are stuck.
That there is no hope for you to overcome.
You are the victim of your family and your history and your biology. That’s just the way it is, some thing will never change (see Bruce Hornsby).
Today God wants you and me to quit believing that demon spawn lie. We are not the sum total of forces outside of ourselves. The Bible makes it clear that we are the products of the Holy Spirit at work within us. In Galatians 5:16 Paul says:
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
My family history, life experience, and biology will certainly give shape to my temptations. For many years I have dealt with periods of intense physical anxiety, which can then lead to me being tempted by the sin of worry. But the Holy Spirit is at work within me, which means that my life is not defined by my physical anxiety. I may experience the symptoms anxiety for the rest of my life but I will not always struggle with the sin of worry like I do now. I am not the product of my biology I am the product of the Holy Spirit. He is working within me and WILL change me.
In 1 Corinthians 5:17 Paul says: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
You are a new creation in Jesus Christ. That is your fundamental identity. Your dad may have been an angry man but that doesn’t mean that you will also be ruled by anger. You are in Christ. You are a new creation and the Holy Spirit is within you, conforming you to the image of Christ. You can be absolutely sure that you will change.
So quit dishonoring God by believing that you won’t change. Quit dishonoring the Holy Spirit by believing that He isn’t strong enough to overcome your biology. God is for you and in you! He delights in you and is committed to changing you! You a new creation in Christ. You’re not stuck and you’re not doomed.
Sin may be powerful but the Spirit is more powerful.
A couple days ago I did a post on striving to represent Jesus well in the world. But what do we do when we’ve failed to do that?
Christians are ambassadors for Christ. We’re a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. Peter tells us that unbelievers will even slander us for our good behavior in Christ (1 PE 3.16). Paul encouraged others to follow his example and imitate his life. All believers should so model Christ they could say this to their children or fellow Christians.
One of our friends, Trillia Newbell asked this question after my last post. (Thanks Trillia!) She asked, What should we do when we don’t represent Christ well? And what do we do when we ask forgiveness of unbelievers and they refuse to grant that forgiveness?
What should we do when we fail to represent Christ well? When we lose our temper with an unbelieving co-worker, or grumble or gossip around non-Christians or say something unkind to an unbelieving relative? What if we fail to represent Christ well to our spouse or children?
First of all, none of us will represent Jesus perfectly.
Believers are all works in progress. Though in one sense the moment we are saved, we are sanctified, or set apart for God completely. Yet in another sense our sanctification is ongoing. We are becoming more and more like Christ every day as the Holy Spirit works in our lives. Someday we’ll be completely conformed to the likeness of Christ, but until that time none of us will be perfect. We still battle what remains of our old fallen nature, though it’s no longer the dominant force in our lives and Holy Spirit stirs and empowers us to obey God.
So though we now want and try to represent Christ perfectly, we will fail. Hopefully, as the years go by we will represent Jesus better and better. We’ll be more and more cheerful, rejoice more and more despite our trials. We’ll be more and more patient. Five years from now you will be more like Christ than you are today as you continue to walk with him. So if you’re around the same people for a few years, and you’ve failed to represent Jesus well early on, they should see changes occur in you over time. Jesus can even use our failures to show others his power to change us.
If you have failed to represent Jesus, here are a few suggestions.
First of all, repent.
Peter denied Christ three times– talk about a failure to represent – but he repented. Judas failed to repent. He felt bad about what he’d done, but never repented. John tells us that if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 JN 1:9). So the first thing we should do is ask Jesus’ forgiveness.
Remember there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
We may feel condemned, but there is none, because Jesus was condemned in our place on the cross. None remains for us. Not one shred.
Ask forgiveness.
Ask forgiveness of those you have sinned against. Ask forgiveness of your children if you spoke harshly to them even if they did something wrong first. Ask forgiveness of the unbeliever you sinned against, even if he sinned against you first. And don’t expect him to ask your forgiveness. Worry about your own sin, not his.
Be humble.
God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Even the act of humbling yourself is a Christlike act and is shining the light of Jesus into the lives of those you work with, etc. Usually when we humble ourselves, even before unbelievers, they soften toward us. Not always, but usually.
What if you ask forgiveness and they don’t forgive you? Again, I wouldn’t expect an unbeliever to forgive me. I don’t expect unbelievers to do what Christians are called to do.
Paul says that as much as possible be at peace with all men. Continue to try to reach out to them, serve them, bless them, etc.
I love Paul’s advice to Timothy about how to relate to unbelievers:
And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth…(2 Timothy 2:24-25)
Be kind to everyone, patiently endure evil, correct gently, and trust God to work in them. Wow, talk about representing. That’s how I want to act.
Christ represents us in heaven; we represent him on earth.
What an awesome thought – Christ represents us in heaven! The perfect, spotless, Lamb of God pleads his own blood and righteousness on our behalf at the Father’s right hand. He’s the perfect representative! He doesn’t forget a single need. He never takes a break. He knows exactly what it’s like for us. He knows just what to say and ask for on our behalf.
What’s amazing is that he chooses us to represent him on earth. For some unknown reason he hasn’t chosen many who are wise, reputable or strong, but he’s chosen weak, flawed, sinful people to represent him to a dying world. What an honor! What a privilege! What a joy! What a high calling!
And since he chose us, he will empower us and pour out his Spirit on us mightily, change our character, give us gifts, produce fruit, give us power and victory over sin – in other words, make us like himself – that we might represent him and his glory to the world.
What are we to show the world of Jesus? We are to display his holiness, righteousness and purity. His joy, gentleness, patience and long-suffering. We’re to demonstrate his faithfulness and heart to serve.
We represent him by word as well as deed, thanking and praising him, proclaiming his good news and appealing to people to turn to him.
So whatever you do today, whether you post on Facebook, go to lunch with co-workers, or take your kids to the playground, remember you represent Jesus! So pray for the power of the Spirit to do that in a way that pleases him.
Why do we sing together on Sundays or in Small Groups? Is it just a warm-up for the preaching of the word or our time of sharing? Do we sing just to make us feel good before we get down to the serious business of preaching? Paul tells us in Colossians 3:16:
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
As we sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with thankful hearts to God, the word of Christ dwells in us richly. Paul doesn’t exhort us to sing so we feel good or have an emotional experience, not that those are wrong. But Paul exhorts us to let the word or the teaching of Christ and about Christ sink into our hearts and abide among us richly. To become part of the fabric of our thinking. We’re to drink in the doctrine of Christ in all its richness and fill our thoughts and hearts again and again as we sing together.
This means our worship songs should overflow with truth about God and Christ, who he is and all he’s done for us in his life, death, resurrection, ascension and all our great High Priest and Mediator continues to do in us through his Spirit.
Our worship songs should focus on Christ, not us. As we meditate on Jesus, thankfulness will be the natural outflow. As we think on who Christ is and all he’s done and continues to do for us, we can’t help but be grateful and offer our selves to him in worship.
If you’re a pastor or worship leader, be sure you choose songs filled with “the Word of Christ.” Full of the doctrine of God the Son, crucified, risen and reigning. As your church sings these songs again and again, the truths of Jesus will sink in and produce faith, love, hope and endurance. People will love Jesus and overflow with thanks.
Afflictions evidence to ourselves, and manifest to others, the reality of grace. When we suffer as Christians, exercise some measure of that patience and submission, and receive some measure of these supports and supplies, which the Gospel requires and promises to believers—we are more confirmed that we have not taken up with mere notions; and others may be convinced that we do not follow cunningly devised fables. — John Newton
One of the amazing ways God uses suffering is to show us how much he has changed us, which assures us we’ve believed the truth.
When we suffer and trust God instead of grumbling or complaining like we would have in the past, it showcases God’s transforming work in us. When we’re afflicted and we don’t doubt God’s sovereignty or goodness like we did a few years back, it shows the progress God’s grace is making in our lives.
When we suffer affliction and we’re not shaken it demonstrates the reality of God’s work in our lives. When we experience deep peace and even a deep joy despite our trials it proves we haven’t believed a fable. God’s grace has really changed us and is truly at work in us.
When someone abuses us and we’re kind in return, it shows that God is real, for no one naturally responds to unkindness with kindness. When someone curses us and we bless them in return we can see how much God has changed us, for no one normally does this.
If you are going through a trial right now, pray for grace, comfort and strength. But also observe the way God has already worked. Would you have trusted God this way 10 years ago? Would you have rejoiced and offered thanks this way as an unbeliever? Would you have persevered without grumbling or responded to disrespect with such gentleness before?
All this proves you have a real hope. You are standing on a true rock. You haven’t believed in vain. Why not take a moment to praise Jesus for the great work he’s done in your life?
A while back I said that I would make a terrible psychic. Well, I’ve changed my mind. Turns out that being a psychic isn’t that difficult at all. How does one learn to be a psychic? It’s really quite simple. Galatians 6:7-8 tells us how:
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.
If you want to predict the future, simply look at the things you are sowing to right now.
The biblical reality is (and I realize that this sounds very Law of Attraction-ish) that we are creating the future right now. In other words, the actions and deeds that we do today will have a very real effect upon us in the future. If I sow to the Spirit today, I will reap life from the Spirit in the future. If I sow to the flesh today, I will surely reap corruption in the future. It’s straightforward, profound, and an incredible truth to know.
Spiritual coldness isn’t the result of a single life-changing event. It’s the cumulative result of a thousand small, seemingly insignificant choices, like neglecting prayer, shunning fellowship, and ignoring the word of God. True spiritual fire isn’t the result of one, over the top, mountaintop, spiritual high experience. It’s the beautiful accumulation of consistent time invested in the spiritual disciplines. Our spiritual lives are the result of many small actions piled on top of each other.
My dad is a wonderful example of this truth. He’s not an overly emotional, hug another neck next to you, kind of guy. He doesn’t typically collapse into a great sobbing mess during his sermons. He’s steady as she goes. But, over the last thirty years he has been faithful to spend time reading God’s word, praying, memorizing scripture, and fellowshipping with other believers. The result is that he is a fruitful fireball for Jesus. A low key fireball, but a fireball nonetheless.
The same is true in just about every other area of life. When folks are struggling in their marriage it’s not usually because of one, massive, knockdown fight. It’s because of a thousand tiny choices that have accumulated over the years. When someone falls into adultery it’s not usually a spur of the moment, “I can’t believe I did that!”, mistake. It’s the sum of seemingly innocuous conversations, text messages, and Facebook posts that slowly build inappropriate intimacy.
We don’t live in a vacuum. The choices we make today for the glory of God will result in ever increasing life. The choices that we make according to the flesh will eventually result in corruption. It’s not that complicated. We have a new baby in the house, which has made doing devotions a lot more difficult. When I read this passage, however, I was freshly reminded of my need to continue “sowing” to the Spirit by spending time in the word and in prayer, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day.
What are we sowing to today? What are we sowing to in regards to our marriage, children, and workplace relationships? What are we sowing to in regards to purity, humility, and thankfulness? By God’s grace, let’s sow to the Spirit today so that we can reap tomorrow.
Years ago I heard this great illustration. Imagine you’ve just been discharged from the army. As you are walking across the grounds on your way out of the base your old sergeant sees you and yells, “Hey soldier, where do you think you’re going? Get over here right now and give me 30 pushups.” At first you might feel like you had to obey him. You might even take a couple steps in his direction. Then suddenly you remember – Hey, I’ve been discharged – he doesn’t have any authority over me now. So you say, “Sorry Sarge, I don’t have to do what you say anymore. I’ve been discharged. I have a new life now. I’ll see you later.”
This is a picture of our new life in Christ. When Jesus saves us we’re no longer slaves of sin. Though we may still feel like we need to obey it, it no longer has power over us.
This is because we’ve been baptized into Christ (Ro 6:2) - immersed into him, made one with him. We’re now in union with Jesus in his death, burial, and resurrection. This puts us into a completely new relationship to sin.
First of all, we’ve died to sin (Ro 6:2-3): Christ never sinned but he was tempted and suffered the effects of sin. But when he died on the cross, he died to sin – he could no longer be tempted or affected by it. We too have died to sin with Christ – though we “feel” it’s tempting power, we must remember we’ve died to it. We no longer “have” to sin. We no longer have to obey it, like the discharged soldier. He may still tremble when he hears his old sergeant’s voice. He might feel like he must obey and go back. But he doesn’t.
Like a slave the day after Lincoln’s Emancipation proclamation. Now he need no longer jump when his former master yells. But after years of jumping every time his owner barked, he might feel like he still needs to. But his feelings are not the truth. No matter how much he still feels like a slave, he is free.
We’ve been buried with Christ (Ro 6:4): When someone is buried, they’re not coming back. We can’t go back to the old way of life. We’re done with it. It has no appeal. If I propped a corpse against the wall, then held a pornographic magazine in front of it, it wouldn’t be tempted in the least. It’s dead. This is the reality of our new relationship to sin because of our union with Christ – we’re dead to it. When we’re tempted to sin, we must say to ourselves, “No! I’m dead to this! I can’t go back to it. It’s not part of my life now.”
If you’re a Christian, you don’t have to sin any more.
You don’t have to get angry any more. You don’t have to yell at your kids. You don’t have to be angry at your wife. You don’t have to give in to lust. You don’t have to be enslaved by the opinions of others. You don’t have to live in fear of what others think of you. You don’t have to be selfish. You don’t have to gossip or grumble and complain.
We’ve been raised with Christ to newness of life (Ro 6:4). With Christ, we share in the very life of the age to come. The same power that raised Jesus from the dead courses through us. This newness of life is life lived unto God for his glory. A life where even the most mundane things we do are worship offered through our great Mediator, acceptable to God. This newness of life is a foretaste of the life of heaven to come – a foretaste of the power, joy and freedom we’ll know in heaven.
Now you have the power to serve, to bless others, to walk in the works God prepared for you before time. Now you have the power to rejoice in trials. You have resurrection power. Don’t feel it? Ask Jesus for grace and strength. Keep praying. Ask him to help you. You’re one with him. You’ll walk in the reality of your union with Christ more and more the longer you abide in him.
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